


Fractured

by Shade_Penn1



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Female Friendship, Gen, Girl!Clint, Male-Female Friendship, Rape/Non-con References, Rule 63, Slow Build, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-07
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-09 09:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shade_Penn1/pseuds/Shade_Penn1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Movie<br/>Cara couldn't tell anyone what she found out, because despite everything that happened, she refused to appear weak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Cara reached for the knob of the convenience store washroom as there was no way in hell she was going to do this test in her own room back the Tower. There was too much of a chance it would be found and she’d rather no one else knew, period. 

It hadn’t occurred to her that this could have happened to her when she woke up and emptied her stomach in her bathroom toilet and she’d realized that she hadn’t had her period did the most awkward thought make itself known in her mind, but she had brushed the idea aside until she upchucking her dinner and then it didn’t seem like such an insane idea. It was at least worth checking to make sure.

And now as she stood waiting for the result, Cara felt her thoughts whirl and that alone brought a new wave of nausea over her. She hadn’t left early, but no one would notice her absence as the others besides ‘Tasha were alright with avoiding her as she never went out of her way to be particularly close with any of them either. 

The woman figured it was probably being forced to associate with new people that had her so antsy, but she wouldn’t rule out her aversion to men as another problem. 

Cara took a deep breath as she stared down at the box and the test, her fingers going slack as she the confirmation and both the test and box fell from her fingers to the floor as she slid down the door, her ugly childhood rearing its head and the doubtful thoughts of _her_ as parent material. She paused to look at her current actions and sneered. 

Why was she starting to freak out? She’d faced bigger things than this and if she could handle that, then she could handle this.  
She just needed to go about this as her survival instincts indicated she do. One; she’d have to find a way to move back into her apartment without being too suspicious about it ‘cause there was no way that Stark Tower was safe for her now, might as well paint a big red target on it and ask for it to be attacked, so that was definitely out. 

Two; after that certain point she’d have to get out of SHIELD duty, saying she was going to use her ‘vacation time’ would work and while yes they did have maternity leave, she very well wasn’t going to _say_ that as the reason; too many questions would be asked, ones about the conception that made her feel uncomfortable and would continue to avoid thinking about for the time being until she was actually ready to deal with it.

Three; she’d need to see a doctor and had to book an appointment. Cara’s face scrunched in distaste as she really did detest having to be in any medical facility more than needed. It’s not like she had any idea about what to do though. Hell, it hadn’t even occurred to her that she was pregnant until she started throwing up and not when she failed to realize that she was late. 

Four; she needed to find some books or something about what to expect or the doctor to recommend. She tossed the idea of using a computer out because the history could be brought up even if she did erase it and with only two women on the Avenger Initiative, it would have been a very awkward thing to have been found out.

With most of her bases covered, Cara Barton picked herself up, tossed the evidence and headed out of the store.

\----------------------------

Cara decided she needed to book a damn appointment _fast_ .

She barely made it to the kitchen to see if she could handle eating something when the smell of something being fried hit her nose and stirred up the bought of nausea from before that sent her running to the nearest washroom and hurling into the toilet.

The blonde rinsed out her mouth and leaned on the sink as she wiped the sweat forming on her brow off and took out her cell and dialed the doctor’s office, figuring that this was the best place to do this as there were no cameras in the bathrooms, or the bedrooms, but you couldn’t be too careful. “Hello, could I make an appointment for as soon as possible?”

“Yes, there’s an opening for Tuesday at 3, is that suitable?”

“3? Sure, oh, and uh, this is because I’m,” Cara practically whispered the next word, “ _pregnant_ , and not because I’m sick, though there’s not much of a difference.”

“Ah.” The person on the other line said in understanding. “I see, we’ll see you at 3 then.”

“Thank you.” Cara blurted before ending the call and peered out of the washroom to make sure her little barffest hadn’t attracted any unwanted attention. Her stomach made her decide to forgo eating for the moment and went straight for her room.

Just after shutting the door behind her, Cara sat down on the bed and calmed herself. She knew that even though she wanted to, she couldn’t just up and leave right this moment as it was too early to even tell and when she got the work done at the doctor’s she’d be able to find out exactly how far along she was, though she already had a strong possibility of when it happened…but that wasn’t something she wanted to think about right now. 

But since she’d have to wait to leave it meant Cara would have to bring her books here. Damn it, this was all so complicated. Well, a little voice in the back of her mind said, you could just tell them.

True, she could, but she had no idea how they’d react and she didn’t want to take the unnecessary risk. Mostly because she didn’t want to answer the most obvious questioned they would eventually ask. Not how this happened, but with _who_.

Cara got off her bed and began to pace around her room aimlessly as her doubt began to settle in again. How could she be a parent? She had no idea what to do, her parents were dead and her brother wasn’t even an option.

She looked over at her reflection in the full-length mirror and studied herself briefly before grabbing one of the pillows on her bed and stuffed it under her jacket and placed her hands over it as she turned to her side and examined herself again. 

Shoulder-length blonde hair scraped back into a ponytail, dark blue eyes, and despite the pillow giving the illusion of weight gain, her body was tight and had some muscle. She wasn’t vain and placed little importance on physical appearance, so she couldn’t understand _how_ this had happened in the first place.

“What are you doing?”

Cara jumped and looked over at the now open door where Natasha was leaning in the doorway. “What do you mean?” she asked pulling the pillow casually out of her jacket and tossing it back on her bed.

“You just put a pillow under your jacket,” Natasha sounded out slowly, “now what are you up to?”

“I’m not up to anything.” Cara replied calmly. “I was just…” she trailed off and really couldn’t come up with anything other than the truth. “I was just seeing how I’d look like pregnant.” She said bluntly. 

Natasha raised a brow, the only indication that this was clearly not the answer she was expecting. “And what did you see?”

Cara knew that the woman was just humoring her as she assumed that the blonde was probably just thinking about having a baby and not actually going to _have_ one. “What I always see, me.” She said shrugging and glanced back at the mirror, the stark contrast between the two of them made her stomach churn and stopped her line of thought before they could turn dark, but they seeped in anyway.

Men had always overlooked Cara, especially when they saw the redheaded woman instead, and honestly, the blonde had never actually minded; it just hurt, and she wished at least once a guy would take some interest in her.

Well, she got what she wanted suffice to say.

“Why aren’t-”

The sound of the alarm rang through the Tower and Cara wanted to curse.


	2. Chapter 2

Cara stared mutinously at the doctor as she steadfastly refused to talk about how she got pregnant. She should’ve been quicker on the draw and lied her way through the after mission examination when they took her blood after cleaning up her grazed arm.

She should’ve known and now SHIELD would know. Well, they would if she was going to let the doctor say anything. And they couldn’t do anything as long as she didn’t say anything. The vindication she got for them making her spend the night in observation sank in and she couldn’t bring herself to care that she shouldn’t be this happy about being difficult. 

But hormones, what were you gonna do? 

And the alternative reason she wasn’t saying anything was because then it would make what had happened when she was being mind-controlled real and she was fine with it just being a horrifying nightmare. Not that she…got nightmares about it of course, Cara thought quickly.

“There’s nothing wrong with me.” Cara said through her teeth. “So you have nothing to put on the SHIELD report.” Even she knew that these doctors were bound by confidentiality.

The doctor let out a longsuffering sigh, which Cara didn’t find at all unfounded as he had spent the better part of the night trying to convince her to let this information be known. Well, the woman had her own doctor to get her check-up from tomorrow so she didn’t need to now right now and had shot down his argument. “Very well Agent Barton.” He said before leaving the room through the sliding glass doors.

The blonde woman her head back on her pillow and frowned to herself. She had to keep this hidden, she just had to. And no, it wasn’t because of shame or anything like that, it was mostly about fear. Fear about what would happen if anyone found out about this kid and because of the things she’d seen in her time with SHIELD, a million different scenarios ran through her mind, each one more terrifying than the last.

And she wasn’t about to let an innocent baby be a part of it, even if it did mean for 5 months, if she was lucky and didn’t start showing earlier, she would have to lie to her teammates and SHIELD she was okay with that. It’s not any different from any other operative mission, and this one was very personal.

And all this meant was that she had to be even sneakier about what she did.

\-----------------------------------

Cara tapped her boot on the clean tiles of the waiting room and ignored the receptionist’s dirty look as she waited for her name to be called. She had managed to sneak in and out of the Tower and took her motorcycle here, though it wasn’t a very hard thing to do as none of the others were aware of when she was supposed to be back.

“Cara Barton?” A nurse called and the woman stood from her seat and walked over to her.

“I’m Cara.” She said and the nurse nodded before gesturing for the blonde to follow down the hall.

“Just wait in here, the doctor should be along in a moment.” The nurse said as Cara sat down on the chair in the room and heard the door close. 

Cara felt her gauze start to ache uncomfortably, not because of the wound, but because of the adhesive clenching her skin. She raised one hand to her jacket covered arm and tried to smooth it out, but that didn’t really work. She huffed and heard the door open and a middle-aged woman came in, giving her a cordial smile. 

“Hello Miss Barton, how are you today?” she asked.

Cara tried to smile back, she really did, but all she felt was the corners of her mouth turn up awkwardly. She really hadn’t had much use for smiling in her line of work unless she wanted to terrify someone, and more than not it was mostly an accident on her part. “I’m fine, aside from the whole…” she looked down at her stomach and suddenly felt self-conscious.

She wasn’t used to having to rely on others with personal matters, and despite how long she’d known Natasha, she couldn’t say anything to her either about this. It surprised her how much she’d managed to function in the real world as it was when she wasn’t on a mission to occupy her time with.

The doctor’s expression didn’t change as she nodded. “I see, and do you have a time frame from when you might have conceived?”  
Cara surprised herself by not shuddering as she knew exactly when this could have happened. “It would be about,” she paused for a moment, “almost a month.”

The doctor nodded again as she wrote it down on a clipboard. “And, have you begun to experience Morning Sickness?”

The blonde nodded. “Yeah, but yesterday I was feeling nauseas all day.” She reframed from mentioning that she had also been nauseas on the team’s last mission and it had resulted in her arm getting grazed, but she couldn’t say that of course. “Is there anything I can do for it?”

“It varies from each woman, but saltines and ginger ale will help.” The doctor replied and Cara nodded for her to continue. “No alcohol of any kind and you may experience tiredness, mood swings, a craving for certain foods or a dislike for them, headaches, and swollen or tender breasts. You will also need to go to sleep earlier and eat small frequent meals.”

Cara made sure to commit each symptom to memory and decided to go to the drugstore in the hospital to pick up the ginger ale and crackers. “Right, and the weight gain doesn’t start happening until the fourth or fifth month, right?”

“Well, like I said, the process varies from each woman, but that generally is when it starts.” The doctor replied and Cara rose from her seat. “And if you experience anything out of the ordinary, feel free to call.”

The blonde nodded. “Thank you.” She said as she left the room and made her way out of the waiting room, one hand fumbling through her pocket for her money and the other reaching for the handle to the door, only to glance up as it was opened by someone else. 

Cara froze as she recognized the woman from New Mexico. “Thank you.” She said quickly as she walked around Darcy.

The other woman paused and looked back at her suddenly. “Hey, you’re that chick! The one from New Mexico!”

Cara didn’t freeze, but she only turned half-way to avoid being seen again and tried to lower her voice. “No, you must have me mistaken for someone else.” She said before hurrying on. 

Darcy though wasn’t giving up that easily as she let the door to the waiting room close and followed Cara down the stairs and she tried to get another look at the blonde’s face. “No, seriously, you are that chick.” She said nodding, looking assured of her own conviction. “And from the news when the Avengers were kicking alien ass.”

Cara paused. “People saw that?”

“Ah ha!” Darcy exclaimed. “See, it is you.” She said triumphantly. “Hey, what’s with you, why are you all pale?”

Cara felt her hands start to shake as she now realized that if people were watching that, then others might recognize her too and she suddenly felt nauseas again. “Is there a washroom around here?” she asked and managed to keep her voice calm. 

“Yeah, over there.” Darcy replied as she pointed to the tags on the door under the stairwell. “Why-hey!”

Cara didn’t stick around long enough to reply unless the woman wanted her shoes ruined. She pushed open a stall and through up what little she had managed to eat during the day. She grimaced as she held her stomach and flushed the toilet, hearing the door to the washroom open and when she walked out of the stall, she saw that Darcy had followed her in.

“Dude, what was that about?” she asked as the other woman went over to the sink and started rinsing out her mouth. Darcy’s face showed some form of realization. “Are you pregnant?” Cara started choking on the water before spitting it out. 

“What? No!” she retorted hastily.

“You are, why else would you start throwing up, or come to a doctor’s office anyway?” Darcy questioned, but Cara had an   
explanation ready.

“I ate something and wanted to make sure about what to take.” She replied coolly.

“Right.” Darcy said as she rolled her eyes. “And what did the doc recommend, more sleep and taking it easy?” she smirked when Cara hesitated for the briefest of moments. “So what are you going to call your mini-Avenger?”

Cara grimaced again. “Don’t call it that, and that’s not me admitting to anything either.” She retorted. “And you can’t tell anyone that I was here.”

“Aw, why not, don’t your teammates already know?” Darcy questioned and when the blonde didn’t reply, the dark-haired woman’s expression turned to surprise. “They don’t know?”

“And neither will anyone else.” Cara said threateningly. “ _Got it_?”

Seeing the utter seriousness on the blonde’s now stone-cold face, Darcy nodded. She didn’t want to end up shiskabobbed after all. “Got it.” She replied and the woman walked around her, but she couldn’t help but add, “You’ll have to tell them eventually you know.”

Cara didn’t pause as she made her way to the door. “If I play my cards right, no one else will know… **anything** about this.”


	3. Chapter 3

When Cara returned to Stark Tower, no one was looking at her suspiciously, so that was a good sign. She had bought her ginger ale and crackers, and a book about what to expect during the rest of her pregnancy and what to do in on go on her way back. 

No sense in taking unnecessary risks and having another slip up like with Darcy at the doctor’s. 

But then again, that had taken her by surprise and she was so used to having to control her emotions, what with being an assassin, and the doctor did say that mood swings were part of the whole pregnancy thing. 

Cara took a few of the crackers before heading up to her room and started thinking about where to hide the book so no one could find it. She thought about hiding it under her pillow, but that sounded so clichéd in her head, and hiding it under the mattress sounded just as bad. She consulted the book if she could do some exercise as there was no reason not to until much later. 

The woman eventually settled on hiding it in plain sight with what she used other books for, a wedge to keep her chair from wobbling as she cleaned her bow and arrows to make sure they were up to par. Cara replaced the wedge already under the chair with the pregnancy book after switching the novel book jacket with the pregnancy one and tossing the pregnancy book jacket into the trash bin beside her desk. 

Cara tossed the novel onto her bed before discarding her jacket haphazardly as well and walked over to her dresser to retrieve a change of clothes since working out _was_ fine, but she just couldn’t do it for a long period of time. This was all fine and good, because she was just going to do some running and target practice to keep her on her game. 

Cara walked into her adjacent washroom because yeah, Stark had bathrooms attached to their rooms. This was something the woman didn’t mind as it let her keep her privacy. She assumed it stemmed early on when she was still at the circus and had to hide her things less they get stolen. Or her brother took them, which ever happened first.

The blonde woman grabbed her bow and gathered up her arrows before heading down stairs to grab a water bottle. “Agent Barton, will you grab me a bottle as well?”

Cara looked up at the blond man also looking like he was going for a work out. “Sure thing Cap.” She said grabbing a bottle and handed him the bottle from the nozzle, making sure their fingers never touched. 

Okay, so maybe her aversion was more of an issue than she thought and the whole ‘mind-control’ thing set her pack a few-a lot of-paces. 

“You’re going to the gym too?” he asked and Cara nodded.

“I’m going work on my aim.” She replied and backed away from the fridge and headed down the hall. The book said that jogging was okay as long as she kept drinking h the water and didn’t let herself get overheated. 

The two of them walked to the training room and while Steve went toward the punching bags, Cara went over to the next room where the target boards were and she heard the shots ring out and saw Natasha at one of the ranges. The blonde put on ear plugs herself before going to her own range and taking aim. 

Cara could still faintly hear the shots Natasha was shooting, but she felt rather relaxed and in her element at the moment...which was why the sudden numbing of her hands took her by surprise and the arrow went way off course when she fired.

In fact, it didn’t even hit the target, it hit the wall beside it, the last time her aim had been so bad was when she was back at the circus and just started out.

Cara heard the faint shooting stop and felt the redheaded woman put a hand to her arm, and though the woman’s face was stoic, the blonde still saw the lingering concern hidden in her eyes because she _never_ missed her target. 

It wasn’t so much as pride than a simple fact. 

“I’m fine.” She insisted and realized now was the time to stop working on her aim.

Maybe some jogging will help her as the book said that cramps weren’t supposed to start until later. But what with the how the doctor told her that every woman’s pregnancy was different, she wasn’t going to jinx it by thinking about it.

…and she was already thinking about it. _Damn it!_

Cara gathered up her bow and arrows, opting to retrieve her stray one when she was sure Natasha was done using the range. She set her equipment off to the side and out of the way as she took the plugs out of her ears before taking a jog around the room, her gaze setting on the other blond to remind her that there was still someone else in here too. 

The woman wiped her brow as she felt beads of sweat start to form and a bout of nausea form in her stomach, so she discreetly slowed her pace to a walk when she was close enough to her water bottle and glanced at the Captain when she heard him walking over. “What can I do for you, Captain?”

“Agent Barton, would happen to know where-”

Cara felt another wave hit her and her hearing spaced out, so she didn’t quite catch what the man said, as she was too busy making sure she didn’t throw up. As it were, she only caught the tail end of what he said and she furrowed her brow. “Could you repeat that, I thought I heard something else.” The other blond looked at her questioningly, which Cara pointedly didn’t acknowledge as he repeated what he said. 

The woman moved to gather up her things again. “The novel? It’s in my room; I’ll get it for you later.” She said before briskly walking out of the room.

Steve watched her leave; his expression bemused before he shook his head and walked back over to the punching bag. He didn’t know Agent Barton very well as she was even more introverted than Agent Romanov, so he also didn’t know if she was this… _strange_ all the time. 

He also didn’t know why to ask _her_ if she even had the book; but he figured it had something to do with how any of the times he _did_ in fact see her; she always looked so…cold. 

Cold and a little anxious, not that he could blame her for it though, what with the Tesseract thing and all.

The man glanced up at the opening door, seeing Natasha walk in with an arrow in one hand and waved at her, the woman nodding back. “Agent Romanov; is that…one of Agent Barton’s arrows?” he asked in confusion.

The corners of Natasha’s lips turned up in amusement. “Yes, it is.” She replied and didn’t elaborate about _why_ she had it. Though she did add a, “I’m going to go return it to her.”

“Allow me.” Steve said and held out his hand, but Natasha only gave him an unnerving stare in reply. “Oh, uh, Agent Barton said she was going to give me a novel that she had, but I figured I’d save her the trip.” He explained and hoped the redhead would stop with the _stare_.

This woman was scary on so many levels.

“Very well,” Natasha replied and relented with the stare as she gave the Captain the arrow, “and you’ll find the book you’re looking for under the leg of the chair in her room.”

“Thank yo-” Steve stopped mid-sentence. “You mean she doesn’t even _read_ the books she takes?”

\--------------------

Cara stepped out of the adjacent washroom while towel drying her hair and wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans. She glanced at the desk where her bow and arrows were before freezing.

While the rest of her arrows were all neatly in a pile with the bow on top, no pun intended, there was one stray arrow that could only be the one that she was supposed to go get, just lying there on her desk and away from the rest of the pile. 

She willed herself to look down at the chair, a sense of dread forming in her stomach, or was that another bout of nausea? 

Whatever, the point was, _the pregnancy book was gone!_

The woman clenched her fists until her knuckles were white to control her rising panic. She thought about who could have taken it before remembering that she said she’d give the _real_ novel to Steve…Steve! This meant that he had it!

Cara looked over her bed to try and find the real novel before lifting up her jacket to let the dark letters on the cover stare mockingly up at her. She gnashed her teeth together as she scooped the book up and hurried out of her room and down the hall.

If she was lucky, then Steve wouldn’t have eve opened the book yet. But if he did then he would _see_ that it wasn’t the book he’d wanted and she was sure that he’d figure out pretty fast who the pregnant woman was.

She felt another emotion rising, not panic, but it was driving her down the hall just as fast; fear. If she was found out, then she would have to admit that what happened _really did happen_. 

And there was only so much she could say before the dam broke and have to think about it.

Cara was about to rapt her fist on the closed door when it opened and she stopped short, both her and Steve’s expressions showing mutual surprise. “Captain,” she greeted and lowered her hand while managing to keep her voice calm and controlled, “It seems there might have been a mix up about what book you were supposed to take.”

The blond furrowed his brow. “I see.” He said before moving to let her in. “Then come in.”

Cara stepped into the room, her expression turning anxious and saw the book lying on the bed, thankfully unopened. She picked the book up and discreetly switched the book jacket back to its original book. Though she heard the steps getting closer, she still flinched when Steve put his hand on her shoulder, simply because she knew that it was a _man’s_ hand. 

“Yes?” she questioned icily and damn it if she didn’t start to feel guilty when the other blond suddenly looked as though she kicked his puppy. “I mean, what is it?” she amended in a softer voice.

Steve let his hand back to his side as he realized touching the woman was a bad idea. “I think; that you should sit down.”

Cara furrowed her brow again and when she noticed the knowing look in his eyes, she knew that he’d already looked inside the book and must have seen that it was not in fact the novel he’d been looking for. It also meant that he knew.

 _He knew_.


	4. Chapter 4

For the briefest moment, Cara wondered if she had zoned out with how long the silence ensued for before she took a haggard breath and gained control over herself. “I’ll stand.” She said finally.

Deciding not to push it with the delicate subject he had a feeling he was not supposed to know about from the fact the woman had used a novel book jacket to hide what the book actually was, Steve only nodded. “How far?”

Cara didn’t bother with pretending to not know what he was talking about. It’d only waste time that was going to be spent trying to convince Steve not to say anything to anyone else. At least until she could bring herself to tell the others that is; because if anyone is going to spill the beans, it’s going to be her. 

It would give her time to prepare herself for the inevitable after all. 

“About a month.” Cara replied somewhat stiffly as she knew what he’d say next.

And sure enough, what came out of the man’s mouth was, “You were pregnant during the invasion?” 

“Shortly before the invasion happened I conceived.” Cara said coarsely. 

“But before the invasion you were under…” Steve trailed off and the woman saw the precise moment he understood what she was saying flash in his eyes and a trace of horror crossed over his face. “And are you sure it’s...his?”

“There’s no possible way it could have been anybody else’s.” Cara replied flatly and Steve winced at the implication. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“What? It’s dangerous for you to be out in the field!” Steve blurted.

Cara felt her brow tick, because she while she wasn’t a Misandrist, and she really wasn’t, and really more of an Androphobe, she felt like punching him. “I _know_ that, but I can’t spend all my time doing _nothing_ , it just isn’t in me.” She retorted hotly, then she lost some of her fire as her shoulders sagged. She just felt so tired. “Just give me some time; I’m _going_ to tell them, just not right now.”

The other blond frowned at her, but glanced up at the ceiling as though he was suddenly remembering something important. “It seems you might have to speed up with the time then.”

Cara frowned also. “Why?”

“JARVIS, have you been listening to this conversation?” Steve asked the ceiling and Cara realized what he meant.

The posh reply was a bit embarrassed. _“Indeed I have, sir.”_

“Are you going to tell Stark about this?” Cara asked this time.

_Agent Barton, I have to.”_

“Right, right.” Cara muttered distractedly to herself as Steve noticed the torn look on her face, like she was struggling with herself about what to do. 

And he had a feeling that his opinion right now would not be appreciated. 

Cara thought about what she was going to do as careful planning had all but been thrown out the window, though this meant she’d probably be able to move out earlier, so that was a plus. Then there was the whole fact she’d have to tell SHIELD about this too. 

How could this have gone so wrong?

Cara squared her shoulders as she reminded herself that she was a SHIELD agent and went back to the original plan of keeping any semblance of control over the situation. She wouldn’t be telling _anyone_ after all. Not just yet anyway.

Her plans hadn’t gone down the toilet just yet.

“JARVIS, I _need_ you to keep this a secret though, if only for my peace of mind, just give me time, _please_?” she couldn’t believe she managed to strum up enough pleading in her voice to get that effect that made others seem to cave. She just hoped it worked on machines too as this was something she rarely did. 

The real challenge would be trying to convince _Steve_. 

The A.I didn’t reply for a moment and when it did, there was a distinctly flustered tone to it. _“O-of course, Agent Barton.”_

“Good, now remember that this is our little secret.” Cara whispered in a conspiratorial tone and looked over at Steve, her expression going neutral.

“Don’t think you can use that trick on me.” He warned. “I still think you _need_ to tell them.” He insisted. “Or I   
_will_.”

Cara gritted her teeth. “And how exactly am I supposed to tell them?” she hissed out. “Tell them ‘hey everyone, I’m pregnant ‘cause I got ra-” she flinched as she cut herself off.

She couldn’t say it; she didn’t even want to _think_ about what she was still remembering from being under the Tesseract’s control. Oh, she hadn’t lied when she told Natasha she didn’t remember anything, it was only _afterwards_ that she started to have the nightmares about she’d done and what had…happened. 

And from the same cringe the other blond did, he was obviously just as uncomfortable as her, but he still stubbornly kept on talking. “You’re pregnant,” he said and Cara wanted to roll her eyes. No duh, “think about your child.”

He didn’t seem to be trying to demean her, and that’s what made Cara feel so _guilty_ about getting angry at him.

“Of _course_ I’m thinking about the kid, this is all for it.” She said darkly. “If no one knows that I’m pregnant, then no one’s going to _know_ about what happened or that the kid is going to likely be half-human and it won’t get taken away.”

“No one’s going to-” Steve cut himself off as Cara gave him a pinched look. “Don’t you trust them? You do work for them after all.”

“That’s exactly _why_ I should keep this a secret for as long as possible.” Cara replied bitterly. “But…I _will_ eventually tell the others, so please just trust me.”

“For how long though? Until you’re sitting in the medical ward again with an even more serious injury?” Steve questioned. “Or until they notice you’re starting to get bigger?”

Cara wanted to mention how she planned on leaving by then, but knew she’d probably be road blocked so she kept her mouth shut. “Listen _Captain_ , I _really am_ going to tell the others, but I want you to stop pressuring me to do it. This is my decision after all.”

“Agent Barton, you may be a SHIELD operative, but you’re still a part of this team.” Steve began and Cara let out a deep sigh as she knew where he was going with this. It was a ‘polite’ way of telling her he was pulling rank and he _was_ the leader, ergo she still had to listen to him. 

“I understand, Captain.” Cara said coldly as she made a move to leave, the air a bit frosty between them. The other blond though grabbed a hold of her arm and Cara froze at the contact, whirling around and jerked her arm free, her expression turning to one of silent rage to cover her slip up. 

Steve noticed the freezing she’d did though and looked at her with something that was suspiciously close to pity before his expression turned severe. “You have a week to think it over, or I’m telling them myself. Though you don’t think so, this really is for your own good.”

A week. One freaking week, just great. It was still better than just having to come out with it right away though.

“Fine, you can have your week.” She said before continuing on her way out, her face displaying impassion, though on the inside she was starting to sweat.

_She only had a week._


	5. Chapter 5

“Damn it all.” Cara hissed under her breath as she sat at her desk and started to furiously clean her bow, taking her frustration out on the weapon. “A week.” She repeated, having gotten angry after the worry had passed.

Oh, she was still worried, but angry took precedence at the moment. 

Soon, her angry scrubbing wavered and Cara felt something bubble in her chest, feeling like everything was starting to fall apart. She let out a mournful moan and started sobbing, but refused to let the tears fall. She’d kept her emotions back for so long that they _would_ choose now to rebel since her hormones were starting to be thrown out of whack.

The blonde felt so pathetic right now, but at least there was no one watching her, because then she would feel even more pathetic than   
she did at the moment. She kept working on her bow, pushing through the sobs as she didn’t let it stop her from continuing her work. 

She had to try and keep calm through this week, because she knew too much stress on herself could kill the baby, and while the thought of her being a parent had and still kind of did scare her, she had more or less started to accept it. She sighed to herself as she felt her stomach grumble and rose from her seat, placing her bow down before turning toward the door, only to freeze as her hand brushed against her stomach.

Cara glanced down at the still flat surface, but she felt along her stomach and knew soon enough there’d be an almost unnoticeable bump there. Unnoticeable at least, until it _became_ noticeable. She shook her head as she made her way to the door and down the steps toward the kitchen and though she longed for the coffee, she instead grabbed a cup and poured some ginger ale into it and got herself an apple to snack on. 

Her eyes wandered over to the coffee maker before averting them. For now she had bigger things to worry about, like coming to terms with telling everyone. 

\------------

“Wow, you look like crap.”

Cara held her head as she glared up at Stark from her seat at the table. She didn’t have time to anything other than get up and rush to the bathroom. She was so going to be glad when the sickness part passed. As it were though, she knew she looked like a mess, her hair spiking out from not being able to brush it and she was still in her baggy night clothes. 

“Gee, thanks.” She hissed as she held her temples to try and focus on something other than her queasy stomach.

“Are you _sure_ you’re okay?” Steve asked knowingly and the blonde woman felt the urge to glare at him. 

“Yes, I’m-” Cara cut herself off as she rushed from the table and out of the room.

“You’d better not puke on my floors!” Stark shouted after her. “Man, she really must have some wicked hangover.” He snorted. “Some people are such lightweights.”

“I don’t know about that, I didn’t see her drinking last night.” Steve said as while he promised Cara he wouldn’t say anything, he didn’t say anything about hinting at it.

He still believed she should tell the others before something else came up, Agent Barton was quite capable of taking care of herself he knew and saw it first hand on their missions, but in this type of state she _was_ still rather fragile. 

He just didn’t like seeing his team getting hurt, and with Agent Barton’s pregnancy and her refusal to talk about it left her with a lot of things to get hurt with. 

\--------------------

Cara stared traitorously at the calendar as the deadline approached. She was on day 5 now and had been dodging Steve for the first half of the week like the plague, and during meal times when she saw him he kept dropping hints about her pregnancy. Damn it, he was sneakier than he looked she’d give him that.

But it also kind of made her hate him for it too. ‘Cause yeah, yeah, for her own good and all that stuff, but did he have to keep on with it? She got it; she was _right there_. The woman got up from her seat at the table and put on her jacket. It was time for another doctor’s appointment.

She made her way into the lobby and when she reached her motorcycle outside she put on the helmet. “What do you think you’re doing?” she heard someone ask and glanced over at the blond she’d tried to avoid.

“Going to an appointment.” Cara tersely as she kick-started the bike, but Steve grabbed her hand when it reached for the handle. She glared at him. “Hey, hands off.”

“This is too dangerous, Agent Barton.” The blond replied. “What if you were in an accident?”

“Don’t get all righteous on me; it’s not like _you_ don’t get on a motorcycle without knowing the danger either.” Cara hissed.  
“Yes, but I’m not the one who’s pregnant.” Steve replied patiently.

Cara gritted her teeth, feeling more than justified if she punched him in the face. But then again she’d probably end up hurting herself more than him if she did that. She knew he was just trying to be a good leader and think about the safety of one of his ‘subordinates,’ but she had problems with authority. _Male_ authority. Hell, it’d take her a lot longer to trust Fury or…or Phil longer than it had for her to trust or work with Natasha.

The woman felt her other hand grip the handle bar and the brief thought of just driving off came to mind, but again, she’d harm herself if she tried that. Letting out a defeated sigh, Cara cut the engine. “Fine, I’ll take a cab, happy now?” she asked snidely and kept her eyes averted in case Steve gave her that kicked puppy look.

“Just making sure you stay safe.” The other blond said softly as he pulled his hand off Cara’s. 

_It’s for your own good_ she could hear him thinking and that just made her angrier, but Cara kept herself from expressing it as this stress really wasn’t good.

The woman got off the bike and took the helmet off before walking over to the sidewalk and hailed a cab. She saw Steve from the corner of her eye and resisted rolling them. “Let me guess, you want to come along with me?” she asked rhetorically. “Are you sure you won’t get missed?” 

“I can spare a little time.” Steve answered cordially and Cara shrugged nonchalantly.

“Suit yourself.” She said as the cab stopped and they both got in.

The ride was awkward and uncomfortably, neither really willing to talk since the only thing to talk about would be how much longer she was going to wait to tell everyone else.

And really, the woman would take awkward silence over that for now. 

But sometime during the car ride Steve must have gathered some resolve before speaking. “You…you shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself about what…happened.”

Oh right, Cara remembered that there _was_ something else to ‘talk’ about, that particular thing being something else she wasn’t too keen on talking about, but it seems like she wouldn’t be able to avoid it. “I’m not.” She said quietly. “I wasn’t in control of myself. I didn’t mean to kill those agents.” She could at least try to pretend she had no idea what he was really trying to talk about.  
Steve sighed. “That’s not what I’m talking about.” 

“Well I don’t want to talk about it.” Cara replied tersely, trying not to feel like she was spitting in the face of America itself with each nasty word she said to Steve. But like she said, she has _issues_ with the male gender. She’d been hurt too many times by them in her life as it was.

And being nice now just meant opening herself up to more hurt.

The ‘conversation’ died at that point as the rest of the ride was continued in silence. 

\-----------------------

 _‘Hawkeye and Captain America-Together?’_ Was what the Bugle headline screamed in big letters.

Cara narrowed her eyes at the picture someone took of her and Steve coming out of the clinic, luckily no one saw what the place was _called_ to avoid people thinking if she was having _his_ baby. The woman slowly tore the magazine up as she didn’t look over at Steve. “Did any of the others see this?”

“They’re going to find out about this.” He pointed out as he watched Cara tossed the shreds of the magazine into the garbage can. “And I don’t think I need to remind you of the deadline.”

The blonde gritted her teeth as she thought over her current options. Tell now, or don’t? If she told now her plans might be   
compromised, if she didn’t, they’d grow even more suspicious of her than they probably already were. She let out a deep sigh as she came to a final choice. “JARVIS, tell everyone to go to the living room, I’m going to tell them,” she said finally, “but don’t tell _them_ the reason why I’m calling this.”

“ _Right away, Agent Barton_.”

“Agent Barton, don’t you think you’re being a bit…controlling about this?” Steve questioned.

Cara frowned at him. “Captain, I may be one of _your_ Avengers, but this is _my_ secret, and if it weren’t for the fact you took the wrong book that day, _you_ wouldn’t even know this.”

“You were never going to tell us, were you?” The blond asked suspiciously.

The woman looked him right in the eye as she answered. “No, I wasn’t. How this happened isn’t exactly something I’m proud of you know.”

“ _Agent Barton, everyone is assembled like you requested_.” 

“Thank you JARVIS.” Cara replied and moved around Steve to get through the door to the living room, the blond following her as he knew he still had to be there. 

When they arrived, Stark was the first one to speak, looking annoyed to be taken out of his lab. “Alright Barton, what’s going on?”

Cara didn’t immediately reply as she looked around at the other two sitting on the couch. Banner looked like he’d rather be back in the lab as well, but not being vocal about it like Stark, and Natasha just looked disinterested. Cara was glad Thor was back in Asgard or this would have been a million more times awkward.

In the end she just decided to be blunt with it and get it over with. “I’m pregnant.” It was supposed to be like ripping off a band aid right? Then why did the words hurt so much?

Stark snapped his mouth shut in surprise as the same look crossed over Banner’s and Natasha’s faces as well. He recovered quickly though and had an annoying smirk on his face as he glanced between Cara and Steve. “Oh, you two huh? Didn’t see that coming.”

Cara glanced up at the blond man and glared over at Stark, obviously none of them had seen the magazine from the Bugle. Good. “Take your mind out of the gutter for this conversation, Stark. The Captain and I have never done anything, he just found out before all of you.” ‘ _Way, before all of you_ ’ she added silently.

“So who is the father?” Banner questioned.

Cara hesitated for the briefest second and took a moment to control herself as her mind flashed to the unwanted touches and she felt Steve place a hand on her shoulder, though unlike before she didn’t shake it off or freak out and instead used it to tell herself that she was in the _now_ instead of the past. “It’s Loki.”

And damn it if they didn’t look surprised, but only Natasha seemed to realize what this meant. “It happened when you were under his control didn’t it?”

Cara saw the redhead’s fist clench and nodded. “Yes.”

“But didn’t you say that you couldn’t remember what happened?” Stark questioned after recovering from momentary shock and his tone had turned suspicious.

“That’s right, I _couldn’t_ …but then after he left, I started to remember _everything_ that happened before the invasion.” Cara explained and only when she was sure of herself that she wasn’t going to start freaking out did she shrug off Steve’s hand. “I tried not to think about it, but ever since I found out I was pregnant it’s been hard to do.”

Cara could feel their stares, and while she wasn’t a shy person, she also wasn’t used to feeling so out of her depth. This was just like with Darcy at the doctor’s office, but only this time she couldn’t make them promise not to say anything, because now that she _really_ let the cat out of the bag, it _was_ going to get out even more.

It was best to start packing now and run while she still had the chance.

“Wait, where are you going?” Steve asked suddenly as Cara turned on her heel and made her way to the hall.

“Going to pack.” The woman replied bluntly.

“Why?” Natasha questioned and Cara stopped in her tracks before turning around.

“Natasha, think about it; I can’t stay here, this place is already like a big red target.” She replied.

“Not true, my Tower has a state of the art defence system, and I should know as I designed it myself.” Stark said with an infuriating smirk on his face. “You and your little _terror_ will be perfectly fine here.”

Oh no, her second plan was being torn down piece by piece. 

“But it won’t be fine; I’ll just be in the way if I stay here.” Cara explained and while she didn’t like demeaning herself, it was _true_. She was just trying to be practical about this, and what Stark was saying is just…impractical. 

“Are you kidding? This place is huge; you’ll hardly take up more space when you gain some weight.” Stark said dismissively.

“You’re really okay with this?” Cara questioned looking at each of them.

“Like I said, you’ll hardly take up space.” Stark said shrugging.

Banner smiled sardonically. “It should really be me asking if you’ll be okay with being around _me_ while you’re pregnant.”

“I have no problem with it.” Cara replied and glanced over at Natasha, who was silent. “’Tasha?”

“You are my friend, Cara,” she said after a moment, “and I’m with you on this.”

Cara glanced over at Steve uneasily, as he came from a different time period where this wasn’t exactly the norm and she hadn’t exactly been the nicest person to him this past almost-week, but he just smiled at her encouragingly like he always did and she started to feel something rise in her this time around that wasn’t there before.

They were all aware now of the situation and didn’t react like she expected and feared they’d do. But then the thought of telling SHEILD arose and a whole new set of anxiety also rose. 

…Wait, it wasn’t anxiety rising inside her, it was-

“Blarrgh!”

“Yuck.” Stark said eyeing the stain on the floor disdainfully. “JARVIS take care of this will you?”

“ _Right away, sir._ ” 

Cara felt another heat flush her face, one from embarrassment. Way to ruin a moment, huh?


	6. Chapter 6

Cara thought that now since everyone in the Tower _knew_ she was pregnant she didn’t have to sneak around, and she didn’t, although her first and foremost instinct was still too slink, but she didn’t.

After retching after a ‘bright and early’ bout of morning sickness and rising out her mouth, she headed downstairs for first small meal of the day. She knew to avoid the fast food and caffeine, so that meant no coffee or fried things for breakfast.

Cara looked into the cupboard and took out the cereal box, deciding that eating this was safe, or so she hoped. She poured the cereal and milk before sitting down at the island and heard the sounds of approaching footsteps on the floor. She glanced up as she saw her redheaded friend enter. “Good morning, Natasha.” The words came out easily since she wasn’t worried about being awkward around her friend. 

The woman nodded at her. “Good morning, Cara.” She said before retrieving some of the freshly made coffee and sitting down on the side of the island beside the blonde.

Cara couldn’t read people as well as Natasha could, but she did know when something was amiss. “Is there something wrong?”

“When you told me that you were seeing what you look liked pregnant before... I didn’t think much of it as I knew you’d never let a man touch you,” Natasha began and the blonde wondered where she was going with this, “clearly I have to sharpen my skills if I could not detect the slight change in your behavior as of late.”

Cara blinked before shaking her head. “Natasha, I was _hiding_ it, and how could you have known I was actually pregnant when you asked me that? Because like you said, I’d never let a man…” she trailed off and pursed her lips to keep herself from continuing. “Anyway,” she carried on but with a touch of anxiety in her voice still, “your skills are great. And I fooled _all_ of you, though all things considered I never expected it to be the Captain or Darcy who found out first, and about my behaviour…” she shrugged. “Well I really did look and act like I had a hangover all this time didn’t I?”

Natasha’s brow rose slightly. “Yes, you did.” She replied before pressing on. “Darcy Lewis found out about you before we did?”

Cara nodded, embarrassment crossing her features. “Yeah, she opened the door at the doctor’s office as I was walking out and recognized me from New Mexico. I tried to make her think I didn’t know who she was, but she kept following me, and even into the washroom when I needed to…barf. I did make her swear never to tell anyone though.”

“Then it can be assumed that your agreement is now moot as you told us after the Captain found out, correct?” Natasha questioned.

Oh, here came the awkward and guilty part. “Well you see, I kind of made the Captain give me some time to let me tell you all on my own. He gave me a week and the only reason I said anything was that someone caught our picture and plastered it on a tabloid.”

“Cara, you are pregnant right now, so I can’t hit you, but once that kid is born I’m going to.” Natasha said seriously. 

“What, why?” The blonde asked frowning. “I kept it from you all sure, but is hitting me really necessary?” 

“You could have gotten a far worse injury than a grazed arm before and could have lost your child. Not to mention that fact you _knew_ is too dangerous for you out there now. _Especially_ since everyone now thinks you and Steve are a couple; what if someone decides to come after you personally?”

“Well at least you’re being nice about calling me stupid.” Cara said nervously as she failed to think about that bit. She’d have to get word out and nip it in the bud that she and Steve were _not_ together and that he was just helping her. But of course saying that also implied about what _kind_ of assistance he was helping her with.

If the public didn’t know she was pregnant, they were going to figure it out soon enough. And that brought up another cheerful little detail she had to deal with.

“I have to tell Fury, don’t I?” Cara questioned.

“Yes, you do, unless you’d rather he found out some other way.” Natasha said dryly.

Sometimes Cara wished she could just have a do-over. 

\-----------------------

Cara made her way down the hall to the gym after changing into her t-shirt and shorts. Even if she wasn’t on active duty didn’t mean she could slack on her work out, and not until the doctor told her that she needed to stop the next she went in to see her would she stop with her heavy exercising.

She tried to open the doors, but they wouldn’t even budge before trying the code on the key code, only to get the same response. What the hell? She thought as her frustration was starting to rise. “JARVIS, why am I being locked out of the gym?”

“ _Mr. Stark thought it best to not allow you access to avoid injury_.” 

_‘Oh, someone’s about to get injured alright._ ’ Cara thought before speaking. “Where is Stark?”

“ _In the lab with Dr. Banner, Agent Barton._ ” 

“Thanks.” Cara replied crisply before turning on her heel and heading for the elevator at the end of the hall that would take her to the lower level where Stark’s lab was. She found Stark tinkering with something and hunched over a desk, but while he didn’t notice her; Banner did and more importantly, he saw how stormy her expression was.

“Agent Barton; is there something wrong?” he questioned.

Cara took a deep breath as she tried to control her temper. She didn’t lose it often as she was in good control of her emotions, but with her hormonal imbalance starting to show, it was much harder to do. “Just a little peeved at Stark, Dr. Banner.” She said with a   
forced calmness. 

Stark didn’t even glance up from what he was doing. “How come a woman being angry at me doesn’t surprise me?” he asked rhetorically and his carefree tone made Cara’s temper rise.

“You told JARVIS not to let me into the gym, I might be pregnant, but I can still exercise you know.” Cara replied. 

“How am I supposed to know that? It’s not like I’ve had to deal with a pregnant woman before.” Stark retorted.

“With how many women you’ve been with I find that hard to believe.” Cara deadpanned. 

“Yeah, well a virgin like you probably doesn’t know the wonders of contraceptives.” Stark shot back.

Banner winced and Cara tried not to as her fists clenched. “You’re right; I don’t as Loki never bothered with any of that.”

Only then did Stark straighten his back and looked at her. “Rape doesn’t count.” He said with a surprising amount of seriousness.

Cara felt her anger start to dissipate and her shoulders sagged. There it was; the word that left her with a strong sense of bitterness. “Damn you.” She deadpanned. 

“You’re not the first person who’s said that either, nothing new there.” Stark replied cavalierly and hunched back over the object that Cara still couldn’t see. 

Cara saw that Banner was still watching her warily, looking tense and she sighed again as she headed back to the elevator. “It’s okay, Dr. Banner, I’m not angry anymore.” She said as she walked into the compartment and pressed the button to take her back up to the upper level.

She saw Stark glance back at her with an apologetic expression, though from the smirk on his face he didn’t look apologetic at all. “Then I guess it’s a good time to tell you that Happy accidently hit your motorcycle and it’s been trashed. What an ironic twist of fate huh?”

Cara’s eyes widened as a scream of rage erupted from her throat and her hands hit the elevator doors as they closed. “Damn you, Stark!”

Stark chuckled as he looked back down at the gizmo he’d been tinkering with. “I think she took that pretty well.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Oh man, you’re here _again_?” Cara questioned incredulously as she once again saw Darcy in the clinic. “Why?”

“I’m Jane’s intern and she’s got to work too.” Darcy replied huffing before taking a glance at the blonde’s stomach. “So, are you gonna freak out if I talk about the mini-Avenger this time?”

Cara scowled at her. “No, I won’t freak out,” she began, “but I am gonna swat you if you call it that again.”

“’It’?” Darcy raised a brow.

“Well I don’t exactly know the gender, so it’s ‘it’ until then.” Cara retorted and crossed her arms, but instead of continuing on towards the waiting room, she furrowed her brow. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Are you asking me to be your doctor? ‘Cause I ain’t qualified to be looking after a pregnant lady.” Darcy said reeling back a little.

“No, nothing like that.” Cara said rolling her eyes. “But, how do guys normally act around pregnant women? My knowledge on men is limited.”

Darcy looked at her like she had gone crazy, but then it changed to a look of pity which made Cara’s brow tick. “Well, men can either get really nervous or really controlling I guess.” She shrugged. 

Cara thought about how she’d been able to get this appointment done alone. She’d asked Natasha to say she’d gone with her and to disappear until she got back, so she _still_ had to sneak out. Her thoughts to the guys; how Steve, while well-meaning so far, had been a bit too controlling-and he really had the nerve to call _her_ controlling?-how Stark, while still _getting_ on her nerves had her motorcycle smashed because it was ‘too dangerous’ and _he’d better really not have smashed her bike_ or else she’d hit _him_ right in the face. And finally she thought about how Banner…was awkward.

“Oh crap, if they’re like this now, then what the hell are they gonna be like when I really am starting to show?” Cara muttered to herself and felt her self-loathing grow more intense as she thought of her own actions ever since she’d told them, though it wasn’t really because she _had_ wanted to and only did it since Steve found out and said he’d tell them himself.

And even though she tried not to, she was too busy keeping her temper in check to do something about it. Cara grimaced as she placed a hand on her stomach, imagining all too well how it would be if Steve and Stark were allowed to keep acting like they were doing her favors. If anything their ‘smothering’ was making it worse. 

Now, she really did think that maybe in their own overbearing way they _were_ trying to be helpful, but neither of them had any idea how it was for _her_ to handle this, and to go around and try and order her around was not the same thing. She was a part of the Avengers sure, but that and being pregnant _wasn’t the same damn thing_. 

Darcy, oblivious to Cara’s internal thoughts, answered her question. “Dude, their dudes; who knows what their thinking.”

Cara raised a brow, but figured this had some grain of truth to it as aside from hurt and betrayal she certainly didn’t know what the men in her life had been thinking. Or what _she’d_ been thinking for trusting any of them in the first place. She’d gotten tired of being bossed around by them and now it was time to put her foot down.

And while she was here she could think of what to do. 

\---------

Cara got out of the cab and walked up to the tower, glancing over to the side to see Natasha walking over, raising one brow at the bag she was carrying. “Talked to the doctor about how to get the guys to deal with this, she suggested buying them the same book I had for them to read. And,” she held up a note, “even got her to sign this saying that exercise _is_ good for me and the kid.”

“And here I thought you didn’t like doctors.” Natasha quipped.

Cara shrugged. “It’s necessary.” 

“And what exactly brought this all on?” The redhead questioned as she gestured to the bag.

“I had an epiphany of sorts earlier,” Cara began and her lips twisted into a grimace, “I didn’t like how _docile_ I had to be to try and keep my emotions in check, so it stops now.” she said and they walked into the building, splitting up and Cara walked into the kitchen to grab a water before heading down to the gym. Cara lifted up her note and slowly waved it around for JARVIS to see. “This is a note from my doctor saying that it’s alright for me to exercise, now open this door.”

 _“Very well, Agent Barton.”_ JARVIS said and the door unlocked and slid open.

Cara walked into the gym and set down the bag and shrugged out of her jacket before doing some warm-ups to stretch her muscles. Even if she was only going to do a few laps around the gym, it would still be nice to return to her old routine before she really did have to take it down a notch as she started to progress through the pregnancy. 

But hearing the doctor say that exercise would actually _help_ the pregnancy was a relief of sorts. And she wanted to do some working out first before she had to go through the motions of getting the guys to read the books she’d bought and telling SHIELD, that last one was going to _be_ last though. 

She was still thinking of whether or not to actually tell the whole truth.

After running laps around the gym, Cara took a gulp of water and smiled slightly over at the door as Steve walked in. She picked up one of the books and sprinted over to him and held it out. “My doc said exercising is good for my pregnancy and suggested that I should give you guys this book to help you understand what is I’m actually going to go through.”

Steve blinked and took the book before something akin to confliction. “You mean keeping you out of here was _bad_ for you?” 

Keeping in mind that Steve was from a different time, Cara kept back the bite in her voice. “Yes, if you wanna go that way.” She said neutrally and tapped the book pointedly. “This will help you understand what it is I can and can’t do, so when I do something…don’t say anything about it.” She muttered.

“And Tony, Bruce and Natasha?” Steve pressed.

“They’re next.” Cara said before gathering her things up and walked past the blond to make her way to the elevator and to Stark’s lab, where she’d be able to catch both of them in. Well, she knew Banner never really seemed to like leaving it, so maybe she could just catch one of them.

When she heard the ding of the elevator to let her off, she scanned the lab and caught sight of both Banner and Stark. So she would only have to do this once more after this it seemed, but she wouldn’t seek Natasha out as it would be almost impossible for her to find the redhead. 

Cara walked into the lab and over to the two science guys, though when she took the books out of her bag, she resisted the urge to smack Stark with it for wrecking her bike. And she still held true to her promise of punching him if it really was gone. “Where’s my bike?” But as Stark was about to make a no doubt smart-ass retort, Cara beat him to it and thoughtfully weighed one of the books in her hands. “Did you know that World’s Best Markswoman was a title I had way back when? And it’s not just arrows I’m proficient in using as a weapon at long range.”

The unspoken threat hung in the air and Stark warily looked at the book and his expression dictated whether he would be able to make a run for it or not. “You can have your deathtrap back when you have your kid.” 

“The Captain rides the same kind of ‘deathtrap’ I do you know.” Cara retorted.

“Well Steve ain’t the one who’s pregnant.” Stark shot back.

Cara scowled at him and held out the books. “Here, thought you might want to read up on the fact I’m not as breakable as you seem to think. I am on this team too after all.”

“But only one of us got compromised.” Stark muttered, but grimaced and Cara’s eyes widened in rage.

Before the blonde could start hitting Stark with the books; Banner deftly stepped in. “Thank you for the book, though I hope you realize I’m not _that_ kind of doctor.”

Cara felt the corners of her lips quirk up and the anger gradually fade away. “I’m aware of that, but it’d still be useful for you to read up on this.” She sent a scowl Stark’s way and put the second book down on the counter beside her as she didn’t trust herself not to slap him with it at least once. “And I’m holding you to your word or I _will_ hit you with something.”

Stark waved the issue away dismissively. “You women and your moods.”

Cara gritted her teeth and stepped forward menacingly, but Banner was still in her way. “What about Steve and Natasha?” he questioned quickly.

The blonde pulled back. “Right, I still have to give Natasha her book.” She said and with one final glare at Stark, she made her way back to the elevator. 

Banner looked over at Stark with exasperation. “Keep that up and she’s really going to hit you.”

Again, Stark waved the issue away nonchalantly as he went back to work. “Eh, she’ll be too busy with that kid.”

“You do realize that babies are loud and wake up in the middle of the night, right?” Banner questioned.

Stark paused for a moment. “JARVIS, remind me to work on soundproofing Barton’s room.”

_”Yes, sir.”_


	8. Chapter 8

Cara walked down the hall of SHIELD with a neutral expression that gave away nothing. She was about to deliver the news of her pregnancy to Fury himself so _of course_ she wasn’t going to let anyone see her not quite panic underneath her cold exterior. Though she didn’t have to pretend to be annoyed much when she saw the stares she was receiving from some of the underlings.

You get compromised _just once_ and this happens. 

She was sorry for what she did, she really was, but they could act professional about it and stop looking at her like she had done what she’d done _willingly_. She immediately pushed that line of thought _far_ away as she still didn’t want to even think about it, no matter how cathartic or ‘healthy’ it was, she still didn’t want to talk about ‘it.’ 

Vainly, Cara hoped she could just keep on pretending like what happened didn’t affect her; she was good at pretending after all. Though she would have to properly thank ‘Tasha for that whack to the head…

The blonde came out of her reverie when she found herself in front of Fury’s office. She took a steady breath before knocking on the door. 

“What is it?” Fury called from inside.

“It’s Agent Barton, sir; I have something to tell you.” Cara replied.

“Put in your report then.” Fury retorted.

Cara looked around and waited until the agents around her were out of earshot because what she was about to say could be taken the wrong way. “This isn’t something I want in a report, _sir_.” 

There was a sigh from inside. “Get in here then, and make it quick.”

“Yes, sir.” Cara replied and walked into the room. She moved over to stand in front of the boss’s desk and clasped her hands diligently behind her back to show she was still a professional; which was going to hopefully make what she said next easier to get out. “Recently,” ‘ _Not a total lie because I did find out ‘recently,’ and just didn’t tell anyone_ ,’ “I have found out I am pregnant.”

Fury stopped looking over the papers on his desk and then up at her. “Pregnant?” he repeated. “And when exactly were you going to report this?”

“I’m reporting it now, sir.” Cara retorted dryly. “It was…a bit of a shock when I learned of it.”

“Right, how long?” Fury questioned and Cara didn’t need to think about this part.

“7 months, but I can start the maternity leave on my fourth…” she trailed off as she noticed how Fury’s eye narrowed when she started speaking and she felt her face pale at what she’d just said. If only she didn’t add that first bit she could have been home free.

“Agent Barton,” he began coolly, “am I to understand you were pregnant during the Chitauri invasion or before?” 

Cara felt her expression close off into a mask of indifference. She knew that either answer would screw her over because it meant she’d willing gone into a fight when she shouldn’t have, and if she answered _during_ the fight, there was only one place she was before that. “During.” She said and her voice betrayed nothing.

Under the gaze of her boss, Cara tried not to sweat. “I see. Agent Barton, why don’t you take a trip down to the medical wing?” 

Cara knew what else was down there besides just the medics. “With all due respect sir, I don’t need to see the shrink. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Physically maybe; how about mentally?” Fury shot back.

Cara pursed her lips. “There is no reason why I can’t still function for the next few months normally. I’m not a risk of any kind.”

“If you won’t see the psychiatrist then you’re leave starts now.” Fury said in a tone that left no room for argument.

Cara let out a frustrated sigh. What was she going to do for the next 7 months? Well, for the last stretch she wouldn’t be doing much, but for now… “Very well, sir.” She muttered and turned on her heel and walked out the door. She wasn’t going to see that shrink, because there was _nothing wrong with her_. She didn’t _need_ too see one. 

She didn’t need to.

\-----------

“How did it go?” 

Cara glanced over at Natasha sitting languidly on the couch and flipping through the pregnancy book. “It went…as well as I expected it to go.”

“So you’re on maternity leave then?” The redhead asked and Cara nodded reluctantly. “Here, you could use this.” She said reaching for something beside her and tossed it at the blonde, who caught it and her expression shifted to surprise as she saw what it was.

“Why’d you give me a baby monitor? I don’t need one yet.” Cara said, but she felt touched by the gesture. 

“A baby monitor can be useful for other things than monitoring your child.” Natasha said cryptically. “Oh, and I think I heard Stark talking about where he hid your bike, though I can be sure. He always seems to be the most talkative in his lab surprisingly.” She said offhandedly. 

Cara raised a brow, but put two and two together and felt any anxiousness slowly fade away. “Thanks ‘Tasha.”

The redhead raised a brow slowly. “For what?”

“Right.” Cara replied and hurried off to find a vent for her to squeeze into. Before she found out about her pregnancy, she had taken it upon herself to know the layout of Stark Tower by the ventilation so in case of an emergency there would be a quick way to get out of it. Luckily for her she was still slim enough to fit into the vents and pulled herself along the one in the training room and used her shirt to keep from breathing in whatever dust was around. 

The blonde heard voices that both sounded male and she was willing to bet that it was Banner and Stark. So Cara kept on crawling along the vent, intending to take a shower afterwards to clean herself up. She reached forward with the monitor and turned it up to its highest volume so she could hear Stark and maybe get the bike location out of him.

She wasn’t stupid enough to _keep_ using it, but she just wanted it back because it was _hers_ and Stark had no right to take it in the first place after he made her think he destroyed it.

This was more like payback really.

After putting the monitor by the vent opening, she started crawling back the way she came. After taking the vent shaft that would lead her to her floor, she kicked the vent open and dropped down on her feet before making her way to her room. She kicked off her boots and went over to the bathroom to take a shower and get the dirt off her.

\---------

After washing herself off, Cara walked out of the bathroom with clean clothing on and walked over to the desk where her bow and arrows were and thought they could use a cleaning too. Pulling her wet hair back, Cara used the rubber band to tie it up and started working on cleaning her bow. 

She hadn’t even gotten halfway done when an alarm started blaring throughout the tower and JARVIS broadcasted that there was an incoming object from the sky. Cara felt training kick in as she grabbed her bow and arrows and made her way out of her room. She met up with Steve, but oddly enough he wasn’t carrying his shield. “What’s going on? Who’s attacking?”

“No one’s attacking.” Steve replied and glanced warily at her weapons.

Cara furrowed her brow. “What do you mean no one’s attacking? The alarm was blaring and-hey, what do you think you’re doing?” she shouted as Steve grabbed a hold of her arm and began to pull her down the hall. “If you think you can just keep me out of the fight you got another thing coming!”

“It wouldn’t be a good idea if he saw you just yet.” Steve replied.

“Who?” Cara furrowed her brow before realization flashed in her eyes. “You mean that incoming object is-?”

“MY FRIENDS! I HAVE RETURNED!”

Cara paled.


	9. Chapter 9

Cara saw Steve looking down at her in concern as she leaned over her knees and started to breathe in and out deeply. “You…really should get out of here, just until we can tell him the-”

Cara snarled as she straightened her back up, any dizziness being pushed through for this was too important and _her_ news. “No, you don’t tell him _anything_!” she snapped. “I’ll tell him myself.”

Steve looked conflicted now. “Is that really a good idea?” he asked and though there was a part of Cara that could have appreciated this concern, it was a part of her that was very small now. 

Cara glared at him, knowing that if she didn’t keep putting her foot down then it really did look like she was letting them dictate how this was going to go. “He is not him, and aside from my…panic attack,” she grimaced at showing weakness in front of this man, “I am perfectly capable of going up to him and telling him I will not be doing missions from now on because I’m pregnant-nothing else; he doesn’t need to know anything further.”

“You don’t honestly think that’ll work, do you?” Steve asked incredulously.

Cara looked annoyed now. “It doesn’t have to work; I can just make something up to fill in the rest.”

“Yes, I have noticed stalling is what you’re good at.” Steve replied lightly.

Cara froze and slowly looked up at Steve, her eyes alight with anger and she gritted her teeth to keep her temper under control. “You don’t get to assume _anything_ about me so can it, soldier boy.” She hissed and for a moment Steve looked startled before his eyes narrowed as she continued, “And it’s not as if we really know _you_ because obviously at first glance you don’t seem to be the type of person who’d force someone else to tell something highly personal.”

“You could have gotten hurt on a mission, you _did_ get hurt on a mission.” Steve retorted heatedly.

Cara’s pride wouldn’t let her back down; not this time. “I am a capable woman and can protect myself; I don’t need someone else to do it for me.”

“Well if you were more capable then this wouldn’t have happened!” Steve shouted and like that there was complete silence.

He looked shocked at what he said, and Cara felt something snap inside her; the building tension that had been between the two was now at its highest point with that one thoughtless comment and Cara felt her shoulders shake, all sorts of emotions coursing through her. She lowered her head for a moment before she sent her free fist rearing across Steve’s cheek, all her anger and hurt being sent into that one punch. 

Cara felt some of the bones in her hand crack and let out a startled gasp before she pulled her hand to her chest and cradled it while she glanced up at Steve. His head was bent slightly to the side, the fact he looked stunned by this the only reason he’d turned his head or Cara thought her whole arm would have a fracture. In the after moments of rush, she felt stupidity set in for what she had just done; but it had been done, there was nothing else to it. 

Steve blinked as he seemed to bring himself out of his stupor and saw Cara holding her hand and his expression gave way to concern once more. “You…you should get Bruce to look at that.” He mumbled.

Cara avoided eye contact and nodded. “Yeah.” She muttered and as she turned, she saw Steve open his mouth but shut it and turned in the other direction and went back down the hall. Cara continued down the staircase, glad to see that the others had already gone, but that just meant she’d find Banner with them or he’d be down in the lab. This just added a whole other layer of strain on them because of what just happened and things were going to be quite awkward, she thought. 

Not quite feeling up to going to the lab first because if Banner wasn’t there then it just meant going back for a second trip, so she went to the kitchen first and found the four of them at the island in the middle of the place. She coughed to catch their attention before she spoke. “Banner, I need your help.” She said in the most neutral tone as possible.

Banner turned in his seat and his eyes widened at seeing her hand. “What did you do?”

“I…punched a wall.” Cara said nonchalantly.

Stark raised a brow at this looking like he clearly didn’t believe this. “Really; where’s Steve then? You two have a spat?”

Cara narrowed her eyes. “We…did have a disagreement.” She admitted though calling it that was an understatement. She purposefully looked kept her gaze on Banner. “Can you look at this then?”

“Yes…” Banner said warily. “You know your doctor is going to question this, right?”

“Leave my doc to me, Doc.” Cara replied. Then with deliberate precision, she looked over at the newcomer. “Hello Thor, I…didn’t notice you there.” She said and heard Stark snort but she ignored it.

The blond looked at her in confusion. “Why did you punch a wall?”

Cara sighed. “I didn’t _really_ punch a wall, it’s a metaphor.” She said and grimaced at how Thor still didn’t get it. “I punched the Captain in the face because of our arguing. My emotions got the better of me because…” she took a moment to breathe as this confrontation genuinely made her nervous, “…I’m pregnant.” 

Thor looked at her stomach. “You are…with child?” Cara nodded and he grinned before clamping a hand down on her shoulder and she fought the urge to jerk away at the contact. “Congratulations! What of the father?”

Cara noticed how the other three were watching for her reaction. “The father isn’t around.” She said shortly. 

“Barton’s got us after all.” Stark said like it was a _good_ thing. 

Cara didn’t add anything to this, and while she knew glossing over about the finer details about her pregnancy were probably going to be asked, she wanted to keep this _very_ quiet as she didn’t know what kind of reaction to the fact her baby wasn’t exactly _human_. But, Cara conceded with another grimace, _she_ didn’t exactly know what would happen either.

But right now, she pushed those thoughts back.

“Banner, my hand?”

Banner nodded as they both walked down the hall. “Might I make a suggestion? Perhaps you should make a list of things to do, so then when you think of hitting someone you can just see you don’t have the time for it.”

Cara wanted to snort at such a suggestion, but you know what? “Heh, I think I’ll take you up on that; I do have a bad habit of threatening people don’t I?”

“You said it, not me.” Banner retorted.

Cara grinned slightly. Even with all her issues with men, she couldn’t deny that sometimes they seemed alright, even Stark with all his misguidance with how this was going to work. 

Though catching Natasha’s eye before she left, she realized that the other matter wasn’t going to be forgotten so easily.

\------------------

Cara had just set her bow down when she turned around to find the redhead walking into her room. “You, not one of the guys?”

“We both know you’d never go without losing your temper if a man was the one talking to you about what happened earlier.” Natasha stated.

Cara could concede to that point. “What happened still happened.”

Natasha idly glanced at the mirror in the room and when she was in reach she took Cara by the arm and pulled her to stand in front of it. “You told me things once you said you’d never told anyone else; not Fury, and not Phil, because you said trusting a man just ends with hurt. Though some of his views may seem old-fashioned still, he isn’t like every other guy you knew.”

Cara looked at Natasha. “He still implied I deserved what happened to me.”

Natasha took this in stride as she continued. “And you struck him in anger, though because you’re pregnant he wouldn’t have hit you back. What does that situation remind you of?”

Cara’s face paled as she thought of her childhood and all the yelling and punches that came with it. “I...I’m not like _him_ ,” she said to herself and looked back up at the redhead, “am I?”

Natasha’s expression closed off. “You tell me.”

Cara looked at her reflection and her lips thinned as she knew what a slippery slope just one punch could bring. “I need to go.” She said abruptly and made her way swiftly into the hall. ‘ _I will not become my father.’_ she thought determinedly and walked to Steve’s room, and he answered after she knocked several times. 

“How’s your hand?” he asked after seeing who it was.

“It’ll heal.” Cara said shortly and her face was torn between guilt and anxiety. “I know it isn’t much considering I still attacked you, but I’m…I’m sorry.”

“Seeing as you injured your hand, and you can’t use your bow, I think that’s punishment enough for me,” Steve said and Cara let out the breath she’d been holding, “but,” he continued and Cara tensed up, “as a team leader, that will be pending.” 

Cara relaxed for now. “I understand, Captain.”

“And enough with the Captain stuff, my name’s Steve, remember?” The blond asked.

The woman knew that this was what others called ‘progress’ and was willing to give Natasha the benefit of the doubt about Steve being different. “And I’m Cara.”


	10. Chapter 10

Cara stared down at her hand that was in a cast that had her doctor looking at her with a questioning gaze in her eyes that Cara had avoided answering and had merely gotten a checkup and had an appointment set for the next day for a an ultrasound to see the progress of the child. Her doctor had suggested that it would be helpful and less stressing if Cara brought someone with her who she trusted to help her with this pregnancy.

Cara had agreed with this and brought up the suggestion Banner had that she write down a checklist and her doctor also thought this was a good idea and she didn’t even _know_ about her bad habit. Before she left she got a prescription for prenatal vitamins that Cara would need to take once a day and that she could get it after her ultrasound.

At the moment Cara walked down the hall to the living room where Stark had set up ‘movie night’ to give them all bonding time now that they were all together. Stark had told them about it the previous day after Banner got done casting her hand and this morning she had once more gotten Natasha to pretend to go with her to the clinic.

The blonde looked at how her teammates were set on the couch and she coughed to gain their attention. Her gaze found Natasha’s and she nodded in the opposite direction to show she wanted to speak in private. She could talk in front of the others she knew, but she had based her decision on the one person she had known the longest. Natasha got up from her seat and followed her out of the room and far enough that none of the others could hear them.

“What did your doctor say?” Natasha asked.

“Well, she suggested that I should have someone with me for the ultrasound I’m having tomorrow, and you were the only one I trusted enough; you watched my back all these years, so why should this be any different right?” Cara explained and tried to sound blasé about this. 

“You mean to be the one to go with you for all those ultrasounds, birthing classes, therefor being the one to help you through the labour itself?” Natasha questioned in a deceptively light tone and Cara nodded. The redhead’s brow furrowed slightly. “Then you better not plan on dying, one woman and four guys helping out with a kid; we don’t stand a chance.”

Cara grinned and chuckled. “Trust me ‘Tasha, I have no plans on dying anytime soon.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that, Cara.” Natasha replied. “Though at these ultrasounds we can see if the child is growing at a _healthy_ rate.”

Cara nodded solemnly and grimaced with a hand on her stomach. “Better get back to see what kind of movie Stark’s gonna make us watch.” She said they both walked back to the living room and took their place on another couch, but instead of putting on a movie, Stark got up and crossed his arms as he looked over at Cara.

“You picked Natasha to go with you? What’s wrong with one of us?” he asked.

Cara stared at Stark for a moment before she scowled. “JARVIS.” She hissed. “You guys all heard what we were talking about? What about privacy?”

“What about us being in this together?” Stark retorted and Cara bit down a retort when she was reminded of that. “You didn’t have to leave the room, whatever you could have said you could have said in front of the rest of us.”

“Would you have fought my decision?” Cara shot back.

“No,” Stark said before smirking, “you did rob me though of my chances to tease you about not taking Steve because the papers seemed to think you two are together.” Cara rolled her eyes and Steve flushed.

Thor looked between the two of them curiously. “Is Friend Steve the father? He was not around when you spoke of him.”

Steve’s face reddened even more and Cara closed her eyes as a pinched expression crossed her face. “Steve is not the father.”   
Cara said firmly. 

“Steve?” Stark said surprised and Cara’s eyes opened in alarm at his sly tone and she saw him grinning at her. “When did he become ‘Steve’?”

“None of your business, _Stark_.” Cara said pointedly before she felt a wave of nausea come over her and she ran for a bathroom.

“On second thought, dealing with Barton always ready to puke, you can stick with her, Natasha.” Stark amended and no longer sounded offended that Cara overlooked the rest of them.

“If you’re squeamish about Cara now, how are you going to handle when the actual baby comes?” Natasha questioned coolly with a raised brow.

Stark crossed his arms smugly. “I’ve already got JARVIS to start working on how to better soundproof Barton’s room, and I’ll figure out something else later; besides, we still got eight months left, right?”

“Though I am sure Cara will be glad when her morning sickness passes.” Steve added.

Stark turned his sly gaze to him next, looking positively gleeful with this new development. “‘Cara?’ And when did she become that for you? How many bonding moments have you two had on your own anyway?”

Steve flushed. “We haven’t had any bonding time; we came to…an understanding of sorts. I noticed she was rather…rigid with what she calls us, so I told her she could just call me Steve, and in return she told me her name.”

“That sounds like a moment to me.” Stark retorted before he noticed Natasha had slipped away. “I swear she’s like a ninja.”

\-----------

“I hate this.” Cara moaned to herself as she held a hand to her stomach and the other onto the sink counter to steady herself after rinsing out her mouth. She peered down at her stomach with a lazy scowl. “You’d better be human.”

“Well that’s what an ultrasound is for, isn’t it?” 

Cara looked at the doorway, not blinking when she saw Natasha leaning against the doorway and took it in stride. “Yes, it is.” She said flatly and patted her stomach, feeling a curve of a bump on under her hand forming. “Now, should I fill you in on my checklist or do you wanna go back to the living room for the movie they’re gonna be watching?”

Natasha moved off the doorframe. “Oh, the check list, please.”

Cara smiled slightly before she walked out of the washroom and her smile widened as she looked suspiciously around at the walls. “And Stark, if you’re making JARVIS spy on us, no boys allowed.” She said bluntly. 

“And I wonder why you don’t have a boyfriend.” Natasha said quietly.

Cara gave the redhead a false look of long-suffering. Had it been anyone else she wouldn’t let a comment like that slide, even before the Chitauri incident. “Who needs a man when I’ve got you?” She said elbowing Natasha gently as they walked to her room. 

“And you’d best not forget it.” Natasha deadpanned and Cara chuckled. 

The blonde sat down on her bed and against the headrest and put a pillow under her legs because the book advised this to prevent back pain. Natasha sat down on the edge of the bed, facing the door and even when she tried to look relaxed Cara could see she was always on alert. 

“Man, aside from exercising, I’m going to be bored for the next long while.” She said sullenly.

“Only you would say something like that, hormones must really be changing.” Natasha replied dryly.

Cara snorted before taking the list of things she had jotted down off her nightstand and handed them over to the redhead. “By the way, do you have any idea what a Lamaze class is?”

Natasha paused in reading over the list and glanced up at Cara. “I guess this will be a new experience for both of us then.”


	11. Chapter 11

“Banner, I…I need to speak with you.” Cara said tried to force down her pride as she ignored the raised brow Stark looked at her with from his own table in the lab.

Banner looked at her with polite confusion. “What is it, Agent Barton?”

“I’ve read that for exercise, while walking and such are still good,” Cara paused as she thought about how to voice her request, “but that yoga is also a good form to consider, and I was thinking…” she trailed off as she didn’t want to actually _say_ it. The words seemed to be stuck in her throat.

Recognition showed in Banner’s eyes and he looked uncertain. “Are you sure? There has to be classes you can take.” 

“It would be too hassling if someone recognized me; I do not need people pestering me if the Captain and I are together.” Cara replied.

“I thought it was Steve?” Stark questioned and crossed his arms with a smirk on his face.

Cara scowled at him, and she proceeded to ignore him once more and turned her attention back to Banner. “Would it be an inconvenience?” she asked.

“Well, _no_ , but, are you sure?” Banner repeated.

Cara could see now why he seemed so nervous. “Yes, I am. I…” she couldn’t say that she _understood_ his concern, as she wasn’t in the same position as he. “If you are uncertain, then could you give me a good spot to do this and I’ll do the rest myself.”

“That’s what she said.” Stark cut in and Cara thinned her lips as she glared at him again. 

“You are such a child.” She muttered.

“How are you going to deal with a kid if you can’t deal with me?” Stark questioned.

Cara narrowed her eyes and her expression got a pinched look to it, but she smirked the next moment. “Are you aware you just agreed with what I said?”

“Oh, I know what you said.” Stark retorted flippantly. “Boy or girl, your kid’s still going to be a handful.” He said and smirked at her. “I bet the reason you’re so uptight is because _you_ were a handful when you were a kid.”

Cara lost her smirk as her expression closed off. “I’ll make sure my child doesn’t turn out like I did.” She said quietly, but there was conviction in her tone. “And _you_ will not interfere with that.”

“Me? Interfere?” Stark huffed, sounding offended. “I’m going to be the fun uncle, so I’ll have to cut in sometimes.”

Cara let out a low hiss as the word triggered an instant reaction. “I have no doubt my kid will call you many things, but _that_ is never going to be one of them. No one gets to be called that.”

“Thanks for that, I hope the kid calls you many things too.” Stark retorted loftily. 

Cara glowered at him, but her expression tempered out as she looked at Banner once more. “Any yoga suggestions?”

“I usually do it in my room, but it has to be some place you’d be comfortable in.” Banner said. “And it’s too dangerous to do it in here.”

Cara glanced around at the devices on the tables and couldn’t disagree with that. “I see; I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Are you two still talking about yoga?” Stark questioned with a raised brow.

“What else would we be talking about?” Cara asked stiffly, and the thought of Stark’s interpretation made her feel nauseas. 

Stark apparently noticed this as he pointed to the trash bin off to the table he was at. “If you’re going to puke, do it in there and not on my shoes.”

“Great, Tony; she’d probably do it now out of spite.” Banner quipped.

“He’s not wrong.” Cara added flatly and nodded at Banner. “Thank you for your advice.” She said quietly as she swallowed her pride and turned on her heel back to the elevator. She would be meeting Natasha outside to go to the clinic for her ultrasound appointment, and despite her own thoughts that she hadn’t been feeling worse than normal; there should be no reason to worry about anything.

Only, the thought of actually _seeing_ the kid, it brought a strange feeling out in her; it made her hands shake when they weren’t being numb, and any excitement was overrun by the overwhelming urge to vomit. It was just a big mess of not knowing what to feel for this. On the one hand, it made things even realer, but on the other hand, it made things _real_. 

To acknowledge that she was pregnant was one thing, to actually _see_ the proof was quite another. 

Cara made a detour to the kitchen and grabbed herself a bottle of water to calm her nerves. She took a deep, calming breath before she walked toward the outside and saw Natasha standing by a cab, her arms crossed. “Just started to freak out a little.” She explained and held up the bottle. “Needed something to calm myself down.”

Natasha nodded as they got into the cab and it drove off, the redhead obviously having already told the cabbie where to take them. “Have you decided to find out the sex when the kid develops enough to tell?”

Cara hadn’t even _thought_ about that, as she’d been too hung up on just having a child in general. “No, I don’t want to know.” She said firmly. “I…want to be surprised.” She said and they lapsed into silence during the continued car ride. Neither of them were really one for words, so it was a comfortable silence.

Cara glanced out the window, but looked at Natasha abruptly when she spoke up. “Driver, stop the car at the end of the street.”

“What’s wrong?” Cara muttered.

“The car behind us, it’s been tailing us since we left the Tower, and it has no license plate.” Natasha muttered back.

Cara gritted her teeth. “What are the chances we need to get the others involved?”

“I count only one; you find another cab, I’ll deal with this.” Natasha said and Cara nodded.

“First thing I’m gonna do is straighten this whole ‘Steve and I’ thing out, this is just ridiculous.” Cara grumbled to herself. When the cab stopped, Cara calmly got out of the cab, thinking to herself that now she was definitely going to have to reschedule the appointment. She walked down the curb to distance herself without making it seem obvious that the follower had been found out. She stood on the sidewalk, deliberately looking for a cab when she heard someone step next to her.

“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it, sissy?”

Cara’s eyes widened, rage and alarm flaring to life as she whirled to look at the man standing next to her. “Oh, it hasn’t nearly been long enough. Don’t you have some rock to slither under, you snake?” she hissed and saw Natasha stand on the man’s other side, her hand reaching for her gun. “You better give me a damn good reason why you’re here, Barney.” She said and saw Natasha reach more quickly for her gun.

“How’s this for a reason: FBI.” He replied and Cara narrowed her eyes. “Badge’s in the jacket if you don’t believe me.” He said and jerked slightly as Natasha’s hand shot out and pulled the black badge out of his pocket before tossing it to Cara.

The blonde examined the picture of her brother looking smugly up at her, and the other identifications that it was real. “He’s telling the truth.” She grumbled. She glared up at her brother, who had aged since she last saw him when he was eighteen. “You got old.”

“Can I still shoot him?” The redhead inquired. “No one would have to know.”

“As tempting as that is, not even SHIELD could cover this up.” Cara said and Barney looked annoyed.

“I’m your brother, or have you forgotten that?” 

“I know that,” Cara answered, “or have you forgotten what a total bastard you were when we lived at the circus?” she asked and Barney remained silent. “Thought not, now what are you doing here?”

“Can’t a guy come and see his little sister without there being a reason why?” Barney asked innocently and Cara narrowed her eyes further. “Fine, saw your picture and thought we could reconnect now that I knew you were still alive.”

“Wow, we never see each other after all this time, and you think I’m dead?” Cara asked and rolled her eyes. “If this isn’t part of any assignment, then why don’t you make it another few years before we ‘reconnect’?”

“Come on, sissy…” Barney trailed off and Cara turned away.

“Leave, or I’ll let Natasha shoot you.” She said.

Barney looked at the redhead, before he sighed. “You’re still as stubborn as ever.” He said and walked back toward his car.

Cara watched him leave and hailed another cab. “Come on, we can still make my appointment.”

“You could always reschedule.” Natasha pointed out.

“No, I refuse to let this ruin my day. I already let him ruin plenty of days before.” Cara said and they got into the cab that stopped. “To the clinic off 42th street.”

\--

When Cara had been let into the room and the gel had been smeared over her stomach, Natasha stood to her side as the technician rolled the roller over her stomach. Cara’s eyes were glued to the image of what her insides looked like, so blurry and grainy. She furrowed her brow and squinted. “Where is it?”

“It’s right there.” The technician said pointing to a pen-sized shape on the screen. “That’s your baby.”

Cara stared at the form, her mind freezing as she took in how small it looked. “Is this size normal?” she asked quietly.

The technician nodded. “It’s moving along nicely, would you like to know the sex when it’s developed?”

“No.” Cara said instantly. 

The technician looked a little taken back by the snappish tone. “Alright then, would you like a picture to take with you?” 

Cara blinked, but as she thought how detrimental it could be to keep such evidence, it was still a good point in this mess. “Yes, I’ll take one.” She said and the technician nodded before moving the roller away. 

“I’ll get that for you, and you can just clean that gel off.”

Cara was handed a cloth and she rubbed the gel off her stomach. “It’s small.”

“You’ve already said that.” Natasha replied.

“I know, but does this mean it’s human?” Cara questioned.

“It seems we still have to wait for the answer, but it is _growing_ at a human rate.” Natasha said.

“I guess.” Cara said softly, feeling dazed from seeing the first proof of her child. “Natasha, hand me the trash can, I’m going to be sick.” she said and the redhead gave her the trash bin, and not a moment later did Cara throw up. 

“Is this ‘happy’ sick, or ‘I can’t believe this’ sick?” Natasha asked calmly once Cara was finished.

Cara breathed heavily as she washed her mouth out with her bottle. “A little bit of both, I suppose. I still can’t believe that’s growing inside of me.” She said as the emotions started to settle in; in her shock she’d forced them back, but now they came flooding through. She put her head in her hands and gripped her hair. “It’s real, it’s all real now, isn’t it?” she choked out.

The redhead didn’t say anything as she placed a hand on Cara’s shoulder, as the blonde started to sob.


	12. Chapter 12

Cara and Natasha walked into the lobby of the Tower, having left after Cara pulled herself together from her mild breakdown and before the technician could see her like that. She’d been given her sonogram picture, and had made one detour to the pharmacy for her prescription. Her stomach growled and she shrugged as she and Natasha split, the redhead continuing on to the training room, while Cara went to the kitchen. As she wasn’t completely sure she could stomach something other than crackers for the moment, she took a handful from the box and made her way to her room. 

The sound of rambunctious laughter caused her to freeze as she was about to make her way past the living room. Her fists clenched, and she felt the crackers crumble between her fingers. Her lips thinned as she walked into the living room, the only one absent being Banner. “When I said for you to leave, I didn’t mean for you to come _here_.”

Barney calmed down on his chuckles. “How come you didn’t tell your teammates about me? I’m hurt, figuratively and almost literally.” He said and gestured to Stark. “His security system almost fried my ass; I couldn’t pull out my I.D. quick enough.”

“Shame it didn’t.” Cara muttered.

“How you’re appointment go? Can we take a look at the little terror?” Stark asked flippantly and Barney looked confused. Before Cara could say anything to keep him from blurting the truth, Stark did exactly that. “Didn’t she tell you? Your little sis is going to be a mommy.”

Barney furrowed his brow before sending a suspicious glance at Steve, who reddened and kept his eyes on the book in his hands. “You mean the Bugle was telling the truth?”

“ _No,_ ” Cara stressed, “it wasn’t. He’s not the father; the father isn’t, and hopefully never will be, around. Now leave.” She said pointing to the doorway.

“Hang on Barton, this is my Tower, and uh, other Barton can stay.” Stark said and smirked. “Besides, he was just telling us about how you kept misfiring when you first started shooting.”

“No, she’s right.” Barney said and Cara looked momentarily surprised. “If I don’t report in soon, my superiors are going to think something’s gone wrong.” He said standing and made his way over to Cara. “I thought you hated men?” he whispered.

“I just hate a select few.” Cara said quietly.

Barney looked rueful. “I’m on your blacklist I take it?”

“Right after Buck.” Cara said darkly.

“I thought you liked him?” Barney asked confused. 

Cara’s lips pursed. “Just go.” She muttered and Barney shrugged before he walked past her. 

He paused and glanced back at her. “What happened to your hand?”

“Now you notice.” Cara muttered. “It was accident, I’ll be fine.” She said and Barney kept his gaze on her for a moment longer before he kept on walking out of the room. She narrowed her eyes at Barney’s back, and turned on her heel in the other direction towards her room.

“Hey, wait a sec; don’t we get to _see_ the sonogram?” Stark questioned.

Cara paused and sighed and pulled out the photo reluctantly before holding out, to which Stark moved forward and swiped it from her hand. “Am I excused, or should I ask what you were thinking when you let that man in here?”

Stark didn’t take his eyes off the photo as he furrowed his brow. “His I.D. was legit, and your file said you did have a brother.”

“You hacked my files?” Cara asked, but didn’t know why she bothered to ask when she already knew the answer. “Never mind.” She muttered.

“I for one am surprised you didn’t punch him in the face, you looked angry enough to do it.” Stark said offhandedly.

Cara flushed briefly as she controlled her temper at the reminder of her self-control slipping. She was still worried about what Steve the leader had in mind for a disciplinary action. “I didn’t want my other hand to be busted up too.” She answered flippantly and snatched the photo back before she walked out of the room. 

The blonde thought of why Barney would be here, was he up to something? Their relationship had been strained in the beginning and had only gotten worse at the circus, but she thought what killed it was when he left her. He’d said he would have taken her away, but she’d been distrustful of him ever since he’d said she deserved it for when she busted her old instructor for stealing money from the circus and he’d beaten the crap out of her. 

It was one of the many incidents that caused her distrust of men as a whole. 

Cara grimaced, her time at the circus had not been a time she’d like to think about, but now that Barney was back, she had a lot to think about. She wasn’t willing to believe he truly just wanted to see her, but a part of her, that one part that had looked up to him before he abandoned her came up. Maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was her, but she was considering giving him a chance to reconnect.

She’d vigorously scorn him until that moment though, because all those years of resentment weren’t going to go away overnight. She hadn’t given him much thought in her new life, and he probably hadn’t either, so this would be new territory for the both of them, despite how he seemed to think otherwise.

When Cara got back to her room, she went over to a dresser to grab a change of clothes as she planned on going down to the gym for a work out. She glanced down at her cast again as she reached for the clothing and closed the drawer, but she didn’t let it get her down that she would still be unable to use her bow. She stopped at her nightstand, but there was nothing being picked up on the baby monitor. Cara changed out of her clothing and into the loose gym clothes before she headed down to the kitchen for another water bottle and then toward the gym, thinking she should start on some yoga practice later in her room. 

Cara walked into the gym and took a sip of water and set down on the bench before she began her laps around the gym, her pace leisurely slow. The blonde felt herself relax even as she felt her muscles begin to feel the burn. Cara ran a few laps before she slowed down at the bench and drank from the bottle, but a glint outside the window in the ceiling caught her eye. She turned around to face it, her training kicking in as she narrowed her eyes as she tried to make out what the thing on the other roof was, but her eyes widened and she quickly got out of the way as an arrow crashed through the window and was got in the wall where her head had previously been.

The alarms blared and Cara was forced to continue dodging the arrows that kept coming through the windows along the gym as she made her way to the exit. She didn’t want to run, even though she knew where the shooter was at, she wouldn’t be able to fire back with her busted up hand. She gritted her teeth as she stopped in tracks and reeled back as another arrow came dangerously close to hitting her inches from her face as she tried to make a run for the exit. “Really, all that high tech security and Stark didn’t even account for his windows?” she muttered as the doors were blasted off its hinges and Stark came soaring in his Iron Man armour. “Overkill much?” she snarked.

Stark didn’t reply as he hauled her off her feet as another arrow came in, but instead of bouncing off, the tip of the arrow gave way to a net and it covered the both of them. “Barton, why does this nut have your arrows?”

“These aren’t mine, they’re-” Cara cut herself off from trying to tear the net off her as the answer came to her. “Trickshot!” she snarled. 

“Trick who?” Stark questioned as he raised one of his repulsors to blast the net away, but another arrow jammed into the blaster and it let out an electrical burst, to which Cara shied away from as she didn’t want to get shocked. 

“Never mind that, we have to get out of here, the next one could be an explosive.” Cara said as Stark ripped the arrow out of his repulsor, but another arrow came whizzing past her head and got stuck in the wall, letting out a gas that had her coughing as she tried not to inhale. 

“Hold your breath!” Stark shouted.

Cara glared at him; what he _think_ she was doing? She held a hand over her nose as the others came rushing into the room, looking ready for a fight. She pointed to the windows and Natasha took a several shots at the glinting in the distance where the other archer was at. Steve came over to them and pulled the net off, letting Stark get to his feet and Cara get to hers. 

“The shooter’s gone.” Natasha reported. “But I suggest we leave the room.” 

“How can you tell their gone?” Steve asked.

“There are no more arrows being fired.” Natasha retorted.

“Well I hope one of your shots got him.” Cara growled and coughed into her hand.

“Right, she inhaled something, time to get you to Banner.” Stark said and Cara waved it away.

“I’m fine, the gas wasn’t lethal.” She said, but felt the effects start to kick in and she staggered before her legs gave out. 

“Nothing’s wrong, huh?” Steve questioned as he caught a hold of Cara and picked her up. “This doesn’t seem like it’s nothing.”

“This is just how the gas works.” Cara said indignantly, but as she wouldn’t be able to move on her own for a while, she was willing to bury her pride at this moment. “Trickshot would use it on people before we robbed them.”

“You were a criminal?” Steve asked surprised.

“Really, that’s _all_ you can say?” Cara asked and raised a brow. “It’s no big deal, water under the bridge.”

“Except now that he’s trying to kill you.” Natasha said grimly. “This gas could have detrimental effects on your child; you really should let Banner give you a blood test.”

Cara pursed her lips, and nodded her head weakly, but thanks to the muscle relaxant, her head rested on Steve’s shoulder. “Just so you know, this is the gas.” She muttered. “I’d never do this of my own free will.”

“I’m sure there are a couple things you’d never do of your own free will.” Stark retorted and both Steve and Natasha sent him a warning look while Thor merely looked confused at their hostility, but then it clicked.

“ _When_ exactly did you become pregnant?” he questioned.

Cara was silent for an awkward and tense moment. “Steve, I’d like to see Banner now.” she said abruptly and Steve carried out of the room.

“He’s going to figure it out soon.” Steve said idly.

Cara stared up at him as best as she could, given the situation. “I don’t doubt that, but I will wait until that moment comes.” She said and they got down to the lab, where Banner looked at them, and seemed to be trying to remain calm.

“Was anyone else hurt?” he asked in a strained tone.

“No, and I am not hurt.” Cara said insistently.

“She says she was hit with a gas that causes this, but could you test her blood?” Steve asked. “We don’t need to find out too late if there might be something wrong.”

Banner blinked and took a calming breath. “Sure, just set her down there.” He said and pointed at one of the chairs with arm rests.

“What, no telling me to leave?” Steven questioned in amusement as Cara’s head leaned against the back of the chair. 

“You can just set me down in front of the television; I’m going to be hungry when this wears off.” Cara replied.

“How do you _know_ this?” Steve questioned perplexed, but then he seemed to get it. “You got hit with the gas before, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, Trickshot cursed me out for being an idiot and said he’d leave me on the job if I ever got caught in the line of fire again.” Cara explained sourly. She didn’t exactly like talking about her past, but given the circumstances, she was able to reason an explanation was warranted. 

“Any reason this guy is after you now?” Steve asked, but then he paused. “Or rather, the only attempt I know of?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.” Cara replied curtly. “We didn’t exactly part under the best of terms.”

“That seems to be a pattern.” Steve said quietly and Cara narrowed her eyes.

“Yes, I’ve noticed that too.” She said and saw Banner walk over with a needle and vial, but stopped when the building seemed to shake. “Better do that test quick, doc, I’ve got a lot of explaining to do after this.”


	13. Chapter 13

“Are you sure about this? Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in your room?” Steve questioned as he set Cara down on the couch, her limbs still numb and her head rolled to the back of the couch, but she narrowed her eyes at him all the same.

“I already told you why I wanted to be out here, and even in my room I wouldn’t be completely comfortable. My preference leans toward higher up places.” Cara replied. “Of course, I’m grounded right now.” she grumbled as her head rolled to the side, taking in the sight of the bandage around her arm where Banner had taken her blood. 

Steve glanced around, an alert look to his eyes, and he seemed anxious as things had been eerily silent since the building practically shook. “Are you sure this is the best idea though? Someone did just try to kill you not twenty-five minutes ago.”

Cara would have shrugged if she could have. “I’m a SHIELD agent; of course people have tried to kill me.” She replied nonchalantly, but privately she thought it was rather strange for Buck to have shown up after all this time. Sure, there was the chance someone could have hired him to kill her. “I should really think of wearing a mask or something, people are beginning to know who I am.”

“Well,” Steve said as he sat down beside her, respectfully keeping his distance, “the good news is that most civilians just think you’re an Avenger.”

“My brother found out I was still alive through the tabloid,” Cara retorted darkly, “and then there’s the possibility this isn’t even about me. ‘Tasha and I were talking about how your enemies could come to the same conclusion that Barney had and think whatever is between us is real.”

“Give me some credit, at least my arch-nemesis isn’t running around freely.” Steve retorted and Cara rolled her eyes. His expression then turned a bit tentative. “The tabloids aren’t completely off the mark though, we _are_ friends, right?” 

Cara stared at Steve for a long, tense moment, her eyes narrowed as she decided whether to answer or not. “Yes,” she said finally, “I suppose we are friends, _but_ there is a _big_ difference from being friends and to that completely moronic thing the Bugle is trying to sell. I’d planned to try and get in touch with them, but with how and you and Stark have been acting like I’m glass or something I haven’t been able to yet.”

“Hey,” Steve said defensively, “we’ve been backing off, and to be fair, this isn’t something I really know much about.”

For a brief moment, Cara allowed one of her awkward smiles to cross her lips. “Don’t worry; I don’t know much about it either.”  
Steve suddenly looked concerned though. “Are you sure you’re alright? You look like you’re in pain.” Cara’s smiled was instantly replaced with an instinctive scowl. “Oh, so you are okay then, good to know.”

Cara rolled her eyes. “You know, for someone who doesn’t like Stark as much I don’t, your snarks are starting to sound a lot like his.”

Steve’s expression turned sheepish as he rubbed the back of his head. “Well, I wouldn’t _say_ that…” he trailed off and Cara snorted.

The blonde felt her muscles begin to regain feeling, but when Steve made another motion to speak, Cara felt her hands numb and her hearing fade out. It reminded her of the time in the gym’s shooting range and she gritted her teeth as she waited for the bout of nauseas to pause. Cara saw Steve’s head jerk up and he looked nervously back at her, but she could guess what he was worried about even without being able to understand him at the moment.

“I know.” She said once feeling returned to her hands and her hearing was regained. “Last chance to leave.”

Steve looked at her, his expression turning resolved. “No, I’m staying right here. You’re still a part of this team, and I’m not just gonna abandon you because that’s what you think I’d do.”

“This is your punishment for me as team leader, isn’t it?” Cara questioned dryly. 

Steve shrugged again. “I won’t smother you, you know; I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“Well you don’t, Tony’s got JARVIS doing that already I’m sure.” Cara retorted and furrowed her brow at the surprised smile that flitted onto Steve’s face. “What?”

“Tony?” he repeated.

Cara gritted her teeth, her hands gaining enough feeling that she could clench her fists. “It was a slip of the tongue; it won’t happen again.” She said, but that smile didn’t leave Steve’s face until he looked up at the new arrival in the room. Cara waited for Thor to say something, but when nothing was said, she sighed wearily. “Did Stark and Natasha tell you anything?”

“Indeed they did; are you injured?” Thor questioned.

Cara blinked as she was expecting this conversation to start with an entirely different question. “Um, yeah, I just hit with a muscle relaxant, but it’s harmless.”

“That’s what you _claim_ anyway.” Steve pointed out. “It’s not like you haven’t downplayed your injuries before.”

Cara shot him an irritated glare. “Now is not the time to bring this up; I might have learned my lesson about hitting you, but I’ll annoy the hell out of you enough to ditch me.” She growled. “My brother says I’m very good at that.”

“You hate your brother, so what’s the point of bringing it up?” Steve retorted while Cara glowered at him again before looking up at Thor again.

“What was with the building shaking?” she asked. “I can understand the surprise, but, uh, you seem remarkably calm.”

“Iron Man and Black Widow explained greatly how you felt about this child.” He replied.

Cara blinked, wondering just what Stark and ‘Tasha had actually said, and whether or not they perhaps exaggerated the tentative acceptance she’d had of her situation. ‘ _Note to self; get ‘Tasha to tell me what she’d said.’_ she thought, as it was less likely that Natasha had been the one to add on any dressings for how she felt given what she knew about Stark. “I’m not sure what else I can say then.” she said and smiled awkwardly.

When Steve gave her an odd glance, Cara tried to ignore it as she felt she’d just taken a step back with how she really felt. Lying was going to come back and bite her like everything else, but she wanted to put it all behind her herself.


	14. Chapter 14

Though it irritated her a lot the last time it happened, Cara couldn’t have been more relieved when alarm blared a second time to interrupt her, but this time it actually gave her the reprieve to work on her own little side mission. Acutely aware and under no illusions that Stark had likely told JARVIS she wasn’t allowed of the premise with this mission coming so close to the attack on her in the gym; it even had Cara a little on edge that she for _once_ wouldn’t gripe about being treated like this. 

After the effects of the muscle relaxant had worn off, Cara immediately went to retrieve a bowl of ice cream and a glass of ginger ale before going back to her room where she found a laptop lying on her chair. “JARVIS, what is this?” she asked as she set down her snack and pulled the curtains on her window down so no one could look in. 

She wasn’t going to scoff at the thought now that she knew Trick Shot was after her, but as good as his aim was, even he couldn’t see through walls. 

“Mr. Stark insisted that you have this; he was not thrilled with the idea of using the tower terminals for any of your pregnancy research.” JARVIS replied.

‘ _So that’s how Stark got to the gym so fast.’_ Cara thought absently, but still snorted. “That implies he already _looked_ at some pictures.” She said and moved herself, her snack and her laptop to the bed, powering up the computer and when the search engine came on, she type in her old mentor’s name.

Most of the results were not unexpected, as they were about the circus with Cara even catching a glimpse of a younger her in some of the picture’s background. Cara snorted again, this time in self-deprecation; if only she could tell that sixteen-year-old what would be happening in just a few short days. The turn-out had brought in more profit than usual, and Cara had walked in on Jacques stealing at just the wrong moment…

Cara shook her head as she continued the web search, feeling vaguely ridiculous for looking for something she didn’t even know what she was searching for. A recent sighting? A-

‘ _Death certificate?_ ’ Cara thought incredulously and as she read the article attached, the only thing she found out was _not_ helpful. Cara ran a hand over her hair. ‘ _Great, my one lead is dead and now Steve’s probably gonna feel even guiltier._ ’ she thought as the only conclusion she could draw was that this _was_ someone trying to hurt Steve through her. 

Though still hungry, but too anxious to eat, Cara closed the laptop and went into the hallway in search of a phone. “JARVIS, what’s the number for the Bugle? It’s time to put a rest to these rumors about Steve and I.”

“You will find the number in the directory. Mr. Stark always like to keep the press on hand.” JARVIS said.

“You’re kidding,” Cara said flatly; she’d at least _suspected_ Stark to know the numbers to the newspapers, but to this extent? “If this is the new Tony Stark, I would have hated to have seen the old one.” She muttered and was connected to the Bugle’s receptionist desk. “This is Hawkeye,” she began, her tone restrained as she didn’t want to make things worse and add any fuel to the fire by making vehement denials about her and Steve’s relationship, “tell your boss, _please_ , to do a retraction of your article about me, as we can both assure you that there is _nothing_ between us. Have a nice day.”

Cara slammed the phone down, as her anger finally got the better of her, but hoped her flat and even tone would convey what she thought of their article. ‘ _Still, it’s probably a bit much to expect a retraction from them, but I’ll take what I can get.’_ she thought and made her way back to her room.

The blond contemplatively ate her ice cream, and absently poured some of her drink into the bowl. She didn’t grimace at the taste, just the thought of what to do _after_ and that led to some unsettling questions about the baby as well. While she was tentatively willing to accept the kid, and despite the fact it was growing normally, she was still nervous about _what_ would come out of her as all she’d seen on her sonogram was a blob spot.

After all that happened once she’d gotten her ultrasound done, it was settling in again about all the worries she had. The simple fact this baby wasn’t fully human could have all sorts of effects on her, and regular human pregnancy was complicated enough as it was. Setting her empty bowl down on her nightstand, Cara leaned back against her headboard and distractedly rubbed her stomach. “JARVIS, did Banner get the results before everyone else left?”

“He did, Agent Barton, and your assumptions were correct.” JARVIS replied.

Cara yawned as she closed her eyes. “It’s weird though, how could someone have stolen Buck’s stuff? I _shouldn’t_ have been right if he’s dead.” She muttered and began to drift off.

It just didn’t make sense.

\---

Cara turned in her sleep, the strain of the rubber band of her ponytail pulling her hair tight and it brought out of the sounds of explosions ringing in her ears and the sight of the SHIELD agents she’d shot down lying on the ground, but the pull on her hair also brought the feel of phantom fingers in her hair and her eyes snapped open, her breathing erratic as she wildly looked around her darkened room. She tried to get her breathing under control, wincing as she felt her stomach twist and it sent her running for the bathroom to heave.

Cara coughed when she was done, wiping the sweat from her brow and rinsed out her mouth. While not as frequent, the nightmares still sent her into a panic that each time made her want to forego sleeping ever again. Running a hand through her hair and sending the rubber band flying into the sink, she wondered if she was really kidding herself about being alright.   
Cara went back into her room and picked up the empty bowl and cup, shudder with how cold she felt. ‘ _No more eating ice cream before I go to sleep.’_ she thought and made her way down to the kitchen. She put the bowl into the sink and refilled her glass, knowing that she’d need it to settle her stomach.

“Cara?”

The blonde tried not to jump, and was immediately racked with self-loathing at being so skittish. She turned around as Natasha turned on the light. “’Tasha, how did the mission go?”

“It went well.” Natasha replied, but seemed a bit distracted, which put Cara on full alert. “In fact, it was also too easy, and Director Fury is under the same assumption that it’s because of all the Chitauri tech floating around.”

“Let me guess,” Cara started, her tone kept deliberately calm, but inside her heart beat increased, “Director Fury also thinks that these attacks are a distraction?”

“He’s going to pull me from the team; he wants me to track down any of the alien tech.” Natasha replied bluntly.

Cara managed to keep her face composed despite how she felt like panicking. “I hope it won’t be before I have to go to my first Lamaze class, people would start talking if I took one of the guys.”

Almost unwillingly, Natasha’s mouth quirked up for a moment. “That’s not the point though, is it?” she asked seriously.

“We _can_ function without each other,” Cara said defensively, “it’s just I’ll be around people-men even-that I don’t really know. I could read their profiles and _still_ know nothing about them.” 

“Do you want me to point out the obvious answer for you?” Natasha asked flatly.

Cara’s lips pursed. “No, I know full well that I could just _talk_ to them, but you know how I am with men; with every one of them I talk to or try to trust ends up leaving me to rust.”

“You trust Director Fury.” Natasha pointed out.

Cara grimaced. “I’m still giving that one time.” She admitted and ran a hand through her hair again. “I just don’t _know_ whether or not it’s worth getting attached with the guys.” She said and whispered her next sentence, shamefaced, “I’m actually hoping it’s not a boy, I’d hate to know how my bad luck would affect him.”

Natasha stepped forward, her hand suddenly gripping Cara’s shoulder almost painfully. “You do realize _I_ was left by a man I had cared for, don’t you?” 

Cara did, as when they talked to each other about themselves; it had been one of the harder things to wheedle out of the redhead. While also distant in her own way toward people, Natasha had sought to make the best of the Avenger situation by doing what she did best; adapting. It starkly contrasted with how Cara attempted to isolate herself from everyone, too embittered and wary to fully trust men again.

“Well, you always were better at pulling yourself back together.” Cara said quietly.

If Natasha had any dark remarks to throw at her about how broken they both were; she kept it to herself in favor of another approach. “Then don’t think of it as getting to know them; think of it as your own personal mission.”

Cara doubted it even that would help much, but even with all the scorn she’d heaped on Steve, he hadn’t left her yet. She still thought he was a bit smothering and it unnerved her at times as she was unused to friendly interactions of the opposite sex; Stark and his snarkiness she could handle, even Banner’s awkwardness she could handle, but not Steve. She’d agree they were friends, but not very good ones with how she recalled most of their encounters going.

She need not look further than her busted up hand for proof.

Although she was forced to admit they had been getting better, even with Cara still being stubborn about it. Sighing, the blonde knew that for relative security she should better get to know her teammates. ‘ _My pregnancy is only going to make me even more vulnerable as the months go by, and I’ll need to at least try and be a bit friendlier.’_ she thought grudgingly. “My own mission, huh? I’d make some joke about snapping, but I know how inappropriate that would be.”

“At least you’re learning.” Natasha said straight-faced.

Although still uneasy about the redhead’s uncertain departure, Cara still felt her mood lighten up for a brief moment. “I knew you cared.” She teased lightly.

Natasha’s mouth quirked up again. “Don’t go telling anyone, I have a reputation of my own to uphold.”

Cara smiled slightly and enjoyed this moment of reprieve, even if she knew it wouldn’t last for long once reality set in yet again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while, but I'm trying to get back into it. Hopefully the next chapter will be longer.

After an uneasy sleep, Cara was relieved when she didn’t have another nightmare, but wondered whether that was any better than what she remembered she had told Natasha. Rubbing her forehead, Cara made her way to the shower, her stomach thankfully not twinging in discomfort. After she was done, and had changed into her gym clothing, she peered out of the curtain at the sun that was beginning to rise and blinked as the rays of light hurt her eyes and she quickly put the curtain back in place. 

Cara glanced down at her bow and arrows, but one look at the cast dashed those hopes. She’d need to check in with Banner before going to the gym or Steve would have a fit, so the blonde made her way down the hall to the elevator, and paused before she pressed the button to take her to the lab. “JARVIS, is Banner in the lab or not?”

“ _Yes, Agent Barton._ ”

“Thank you, JARVIS.” Cara said and took a ride down the elevator to the lab, but what JARVIS had failed to inform her about was the fact Stark was there as well. Telling herself to breathe in and out, Cara walked over to Banner. “As ridiculous as this is, I need a doctor’s note.”

“I’m not that kind-”

“I know, but I still need some proof that I’m fit to continue with my exercises and there are no side-effects from the relaxant.” Cara explained.

Banner nodded, looking weary and worn-out from however long he’d been in there, and even Stark was looking a little worn down. “Here.” He said and handed Cara a note saying everything was fine with her. “You’ll have to make an appointment with your actual doctor though. Your book only says so much.”

Cara raised a brow, unsure of whether Banner had just tried to make a joke or not. “I knew I should have gotten more than one kind.” She mused. “Although,” she said a bit awkwardly, “you could also know more about this by coming with me,” her lips pursed as she forced the remainder of her sentence out, “to my next appointment.”

Banner furrowed his brow as he looked at her, and even Stark glanced up. “Are you sure you’d want me there? I’m not exactly the best person to have around in a stressful situation.”

“I am well aware of what I’m asking you.” Cara replied. “I want you there with me, so that even if I can’t get to a hospital quickly enough to give birth, at least _someone_ would know what they’re doing until my actual doctor could be in touch. If it makes you so uncomfortable to sit in with me, I could put you on speaker phone.”

Though he still looked hesitant, Cara could call it a point in her favor that he didn’t outright reject the idea. “You could try, but I don’t know if I’d be available for when your next appointment is.”

“Then I’ll try,” Cara said and added a bit more pointedly, “because I am trying.”

“And it’s painful to even watch.”

Cara gritted her teeth as she sent a slight glare Stark’s way. She cooled her jets though as she thought of a way to get her own dig at him. She smirked. “You could come with, I’m sure one of these days you’ll need the practice.”

Even though Stark looked tired and worn down, his annoying smirk back at her was nothing but infuriatingly familiar. “No matter which way you just tried to insult me-you failed. Miserably. Nice hustle though.”

Cara rolled her eyes. She got her note from Banner before she was suckered into a snark-off that she didn’t have time for. She blinked when outside the training room Natasha was leaning against the wall in her work-out clothes. “Do you have some psychic ability you didn’t tell me about or have you been standing there on the off chance I’d come here?”

Natasha didn’t reply to either, only smirked. Cara didn’t why she’d expected an answer, really. It hurt to think this might be their last work-out together for a while, but at least it would only be for a little while. Cara chose to ignore the possibilities that could go wrong, as there was enough wrongness going on.

Cara caught the water bottle Natasha tossed her with her good hand. It was still cold, so Cara chalked one point to psychic potential. “At least tell me you’ll be my alibi for _when_ Steve gets here and tries to freak out about my ‘health and safety.’”

Natasha raised a brow. “You are being rather nonchalant about going back into an area where someone tried to kill you.”

Cara snorted. “Like that’s never happened before.” She felt her lips twitch up, but her brief good mood soured when she couldn’t help herself with adding, “and it’s easier to deal with.”

The redhead let out a sound that wasn’t quite a sigh, nor a frustrated groan. “You mean _not_ dealing with it, don’t you? Pretending will only get you so far. I’ve seen you hit the wall before, and I’m not gonna be here to calm you back down.”

Cara frowned as she glanced away. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably. The nightmare was still too fresh in her mind, and she just as rapidly pushed it away. This wasn’t about that. This was about spending time with her friend, and Cara wouldn’t let bad memories ruin it. “I’ll be fine.”

Even to her own ears it sounded fake, but Natasha didn’t call her on it.


End file.
